Default Mode: AGGRESSIVE

Red faced. Short breathed. Hot-tempered. 

Yosmity short tempered

If those are the images you get when you see the word aggressive, I’d like to challenge your thinking. When I think of being aggressive in my own life I think about taking action. I think of the words attack, offence and industry. Being aggressive is the counter to how most people live their lives. If you want to stand out, build confidence and crush depression or anxiety,  do the opposite of the masses, make your default mode AGGRESSIVE.

Last week I met a group of new friends out in Kingston at Venture for Canada training camp. I knew I made the right first impression when Shannon, a Social Anthropology Major, asked me if I had always been so intense. I knew immediately that I hadn’t. I knew that for years I was defensive and passive and as a result, timid, lacking in self confidence and depressed. Her question reminded me immediately of one of my favourite quotes by Montaigne,

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”

Can you relate?

When I was depressed and defensive, I was always in my head. I always pictured the worst thing that could happen. I never took action on any of my ideas or inspiration. I would postpone doing things until I proved to myself I shouldn’t or couldn’t or until it was too late to even try. I learned first hand that being default defensive is the most disempowering state you can live in. When Shannon asked me that question, “have you always been so intense?” I felt tremendous pride and burning desire to share with you how to be aggressive and get the action habit. 

Aggressive VS Defensive

Successful people are aggressive. They’re on the offence. Virtually all unsuccessful people are defensive. They’re passive. Mr. Aggressive is a doer. He takes action, gets things done, follows through on ideas and plans. Mr Defensive is a “don’ter“. Like me at 16, he waits, contemplates, postpones action until he has 100% of the information he needs.

The difference shows up in little ways. Mr Aggressive plans a vacation. He takes it. Mr. Defensive plans a vacation. But, he postpones it until “next” year. Mr Aggressive decides he needs to take his health seriously. He hires a trainer and starts meal prepping. Mr Defensive decides he needs to take his health seriously. But, this weekend is his Uncle Bobs birthday party. He chooses to wait until Monday and than proceeds to never get started. Mr Aggressive read that he should pay himself 10% of his income before spending anything on expenses. He calls the bank and sets up an automatic withdrawal where 10% of his income goes directly into his investment account. Under the same circumstances, Mr Defensive finds a good reason to put of calling the bank and the withdrawal is never set up.

The difference shows up in big things too. Mr Aggressive wants to go into business for himself. He does. Mr Defensive also wants to go into business for himself, but he discovers just in time a “good” reasons as to why he better not. Mr Aggressive knows he deserves a raise. He asks for it. Mr. Defensive also knows he deserves a raise, but after imagining all the worst case scenarios of brining it up with his boss he does not.

The differences in these examples are profound and they happen everyday. Think about two people you know that embody these two opposite personalities. 

Everyday the Mr or Ms Aggressive in your life is getting the things they want done, done. As a by-product, they’re gaining confidence, a feeling of inner security, self-reliance, and more income. On the flip side, everyday the Ms or Mr Defensive in your life is not getting the things they want done, done. As a by-product of not acting, they’re losing confidence in themselves, destroying their self-reliance, and are living in mediocrity.

As you reflect on those people in your life, take an inventory of your own personality. Are you in a natural state of being aggressive, doing, and taking action? Or, are you normally defensive, passive, and waiting for the perfect moment to act? If you relate more to the latter, write down this quote by Chazz Palminteri,

“The saddest thing in life is wasted talent and the choices you make will shape you forever.”

I’m writing a book right now titled, “Squandering Talent”. It’s a reminder to myself as well as a warning to others on how to prevent wasting your innate potential. Talent itself is not enough! Talent is only valuable when it is cultivated, expressed, and aggressively acted upon. Allow future regret, of wasting your talent by being defensive, drive you.

Someone once said that the saddest words of tongue or pen are these: it might have been or I should have. 

Avoid regret by being aggressive. Being aggressive is as simple as getting the action habit. With all circumstances the same, the only advantage Mr Aggressive has over Mr Defensive is that he takes action now. Now is the magic word of success. Tomorrow, next week, later, sometime, someday, are all more often than not simply synonyms for the failure word, never.

Do This. 

We should make new years resolutions if we’re reading this post on January 1st. But, if we’re reading this on June 22nd, than we should make June 22nd resolutions. Waiting for the calendar to flip for us to start making our life better is ridiculous. Whenever you’re reading this, resolve to do better today.

Resolve to stop thinking about it. Stop dreaming about it. Stop researching every aspect of it. Stop debating all the pros and cons of it. Be aggressive and just start doing it. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”.

-J

Out.

 

Be. Do. Have.

One of the biggest frustrations in life is looking for an above average job, with above average pay, without becoming an above average person!” – Jim Rohn

One of the biggest challenges we’ll face on our own unique journey of achievement is focusing on the wrong things. Over time we’ve developed an unhealthy focus on having. Having things, having money, having the end result. Think about it… Yesterday when you scrolled through social media, weren’t you constantly inundated with peoples supposed success stories? Whether it’s real or fake, on Instagram and Facebook we see young people with fancy watches, nice cars, money, beautiful bodies etc… Dramatically more often than not, this success is fake. Whether it’s rented cars or borrowed money, plastic surgery, or filters on pictures, it’s often a facade.

Even when the success is genuine, and those same people worked their asses off to achieve what they wanted, it still proposes a problem. When you and I look up to those examples we get obsessed with the end result, we get obsessed with the having. We have a hard time separating the end results with the two dramatically more important focuses of the success equation, being and doing.

When I look at the real achievers in my life, it’s almost never about having. It’s about the journey. When I look at real achievers their success equation looks like this:

  1. Be or becoming
  2. Do or doing

Their equation focuses on the journey and the process of becoming the type of person that would deserve the type of success they desire.

Gary vee for blog

Gary Vaynerchuk is the perfect example of be, do have. For anyone that follows Gary, you know focuses on the 2 most important parts of that success equation, the being and the doing.

First, he focuses on who he is being: what should his self-talk sound like? What should his personal philosophy be? How should he treat other people?  These are in the realm of who he is. Gary is patient, Gary is a hard worker, Gary always provides more value than he takes, Gary has long term goals, Gary is charismatic, Gary is resilient. Here’s a great question to ask yourself: Who are you becoming? Who do you want to be? What character traits do you want to embody? Start there. Ask yourself those questions, and then come with me to the doing.

Second, by becoming that person, he was then able to venture out into the realm of doing. Imagine Gary wasn’t patient. In 2007 he would have started his Youtube show, and quit after 10 episodes. Nobody watched his videos for over 2 years. But by focusing on who he was, which was patient, he was able to create over 1000 videos and ultimately had incredible success. This is where I needed to check my own thinking… In order for us to do what a successful person would do, we need to become a successful person in our minds first. We need to think like an achiever or, here’s the blunt truth, we’ll never commit, stay persistent, or learn the skills we need to justify the having. Now that you’ve committed to being that person you want to become, here’s some other great questions to ask yourself: what time would that person wake up? What type of goals would that person have? What type of books would that person read? What type of foods would that person eat? What do you need to do day in and day out to justify having what you want?

First, embody the person we want to become. Do the things that person would do. And finally, by taking those actions, you can justify having what you desire.

Is that you today? Because for the majority of my life I had that equation backwards. One of my good friends Happie asked me yesterday if I’d always been such a good listener. His compliment gave me an opportunity to reflect. My answer was NO! My family used to tell me over and over that I sucked at listening and that they felt I never cared what they had to say. I told him that I had to consciously focus on becoming a person who was intensely interested in other people (being). Because of that focus I read all the books on communication, body language and interacting with people I could find (doing). As a result of becoming an above average person, committed to learning new skills, today I’m known as a great listener (my girlfriend may argue with me on this one)….

And for the majority of people looking for an above average paying job, or to grow a profitable business, they also have this equation backwards. If you were like me, or like most people, they’re looking to have the having, without becoming. Without becoming, you’ll never have the skills or character needed to do the doing long enough to deserve what it is you want to have! We’ve got it backwards!

Do This.

Check your thinking. Do you focus on becoming better? Or, do you focus on wanting more?

If you’re honest with yourself, and your answer is: I’m focused on wanting more… Today is a great day to change the direction of that focus. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change he destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.

-J

Out. 

Practicality of Positive Thinking

Courtesy of my favourite Google Chrome Plug In  Momentum, every morning I open my laptop, I’m presented with an inspirational picture and quote.

Blog picture- thinker prover

How appropriate that as I sat down this morning to write about the mind, our thoughts and ultimately how they dictate the success or failure of every facet of our life, Momentum gave me this quote,

“Don’t think about what might go wrong, think about what could be right.”

How true! But it’s not enough to understand this concept on a surface level. For you and I to take our health, wealth, relationships, or impact on this world to the next level we need internalize this as part of our belief system. Fundamentally, positive thinking is extremely practical. And while the mind and brain are extremely complex, my mentor George Zalucki broke it down for me so that it is simple to explain. He said the mind is made up of two parts, the thinker and the prover.

The thinker thinks. 

The prover proves. 

What does the prover prove? Simple, whatever the thinker thinks! This is why positive thinking is so fucking practical! Let’s explore two examples:

A) I can’t do it. That is my thought. Now, the proving part of my mind must bring into my experience the actual events and criteria that say’s, you’re right! You can’t do it…

The thinker thinks and the prover proves.

B) I can do it. That is my thought. The thinker thinks, what must the prover prove? The prover must bring into my experience all of the events and criteria that say’s, you’re right! You can do it…

The thinker thinks and the prover proves.

Simple right? Here’s where it becomes a challenge, most of our thoughts are unconscious. That means that 95% of my life is run by my subconscious programming! When I started to take a more positive direction in my life, I had to become conscious of every thought coming from my thinker!

What do you think my prover said to me through 18 years of thinking: I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not good looking enough, your voice is too feminine, your nose isn’t symmetrical, you can’t be a public speaker, I’ll always be a runner up, there’s no point of living? You guessed it… It said, you’re right! 

When I started to consciously think more positive thoughts, my life change was dramatic. For example, at 18 my parents forced me to start working with them on their business. Forced WAY out of my comfort zone, I was asked to speak in public, to sell and share the companies story. If I let my subconscious do the thinking for me… My prover would have slapped me in the face with massive failure.

Instead, I thought, I can do this, I deserve this, I’m confident, I have what it takes, I know the information, I will be charming and charismatic and they will love me. Guess what happened? Surprise, surprise, my prover brought into my life all of the experiences that were in exact agreement with the thinker.

I started to gain momentum. My self-esteem sky rocketed. I was asked to speak more and more. Eventually, my subconscious thoughts became empowering and self-serving. I’ll be forever grateful for those months and years of consciously focusing on positive thoughts.

“Thinking about what could go right changed my life.”

Do this: Choose two new empowering thoughts that you will repeat consciously. When something outside your comfort zone presents itself, remember those thoughts. Repeat them to yourself. Yell out loud, I CAN do it! And like magic, you’ll gain the strength you need, like I have, to overcome all obstacles.

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively purse a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.

-J

Out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling Out My Bullshit

As we change seasons and Spring makes it’s appearance, I’ve spend the last 24 hours reflecting on the first 90 days of 2017. Looking from the outside in, most people would say that I’ve had a pretty good start to the new year. From the outside, they’d be right.

But, that’s just bullshit. 

The truth, which is what I spend the last 24 hours reflecting on, tells a much different story.

Am I too hard on myself? Yes. Have I made significant progress on some of my 2017 goals? Yes. Then what’s all the drama about? Last night I realized I’ve been using the wrong god-damn measuring stick! I’ve been focused on the wrong progress. I have the wrong reasons for why I’ve been working.

In a world of Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook, where we obsessively check our social platforms all day long, where “entrepreneurship” and the “hustle” is romanticized, I’ve been working hard because I want more likes. I’ve been working to impress others. I’ve been trying to look good in front of people who’s opinions shouldn’t even matter to me. It’s vain.

The truth is, when I was sharing pictures of me winning awards, I was actually beating myself up for second place. When one of my mentees won his public speaking contest, I was jealous. When I was smiling on camera to show other people how great my life was, I had just spent the last 2 weeks homeless.

The truth, is that I’ve been lacking in integrity. My discipline has wavered. My zest for life diminished. Telling the truth is hard. Calling out my bullshit sucks. But it’s the only way I’ll ever grow.

It’s clear that my character needs a facelift.

Myself and the majority of people have strayed too far from what matters in life. Living a life of quality character, not quantity of likes. My focus needs to shift from what will other people think of me, to what will this make of me. When the dust settles, and I’m 6 feet under, I know no one will remember what I did, but how I made them feel! It’s my character that people will remember, end of story.

The question that’s left is: what do I do about it?

Well, if you’ve been following any of my shtick so far you know almost any question I ask myself can be answered with the late Jim Rohns philosophies. This is no different. I’ve traveled  down the wrong path and I don’t like my destination. Jim Rohn would take one look and simply say,

“You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”

My Declaration

The character facelift:

Gratitude- A commitment to swapping my expectations for appreciation.

Integrity- A commitment to doing all that I said I would do.

Service- A commitment to focusing on what I can give, rather than what I can get.

Discipline- A commitment to getting up with my alarm, regardless of how I feel.

Personal Development- A commitment to learning everyday.

Enthusiasm- A commitment to maintaining my positive attitude regardless of my circumstances.

I ask you two favours:

  1. Hold me accountable to this. Don’t let me get anyway with wavering on any of these virtues. I know there will be days that I forget this declaration and your accountability will ensure I don’t slip up.
  2. Be honest with yourself. Why are you doing what you do? Are you focused on what people will think of me, or what this will make of me? Does your character need a facelift and if so where can you start?

The rest of 2017 is going to be the best of 2017. 

Till next time, stay on offense. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you change change your direction”.

-J

Out.

 

 

 

Tough Love

nona and me- blogThe past few months I’ve received tough love because, well, I’m tough to love! It was extremely tough for me because when the dust settled, I was left homeless.
This experienced forced me to reflect. It made me want to take all of the positives out of this challenge and be an example for others for what it means to learn from your obstacles. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a mentor a few years back.
He said,
“There are three types of people in life. Wise, smart and stupid”
Wise- these people have a huge advantage. They are the type of people who learn from other peoples mistakes.
Smart- these people tend to get ahead. They are the type of people who learn from their own mistakes.
Me- stupid people…well…. they just keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again.
Why stupid? Well…
People say i’m charismatic, I’m supportive, that I’m a good person. Yet, there I was, kicked out! Homeless. Today, looking back, I now know where it all went wrong. I have always been on the receiving ends of a relationships. I have always been the taker. I have always asked for far more than I have ever given. It took me all of my 22 years and being kicked out of my grandparents house for me to finally understand a universal truth:
“The secret to living is giving!”
When I got my first sales job in downtown Toronto I panicked. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE sitting. Living in Bradford at the time,  I wasn’t about to commute 3 hours a day to get from Bradford to Toronto….and back again. I just wasn’t going to do it!
Then it hit me!
3 years ago my sister lived in downtown Toronto with my Grandparents when she was going to school at Ryerson. So I thought, this is fucking perfect! I’ll just live with my Grandma and won’t have the harsh commute. I smiled as I thought, we’re family, they would feel obligated to help me out. And they did.
Wise
wise- blog
This is where, if I was wise, I would have quickly recognized my Grandparents had all the leverage. They opened up her home and gave me everything they had. If I was wise, I would have grilled my sister and found out about the things my Grandparents loved, their quirks, and anything that I may do to really piss them off (which turned out to be virtually everything I did)!
Instead, I took their generosity for granted . As I settled in, I got into a rhythm of leaving for work early, coming home at night to a dinner prepared by my Grandma, and packaging up the left overs preparing to do it all over again.
This repeated and very quickly 6 months had passed. One day, my Grandma and Aunt asked me what time I would be home the next day and that they wanted to meet with me. We sat down, and I couldn’t understand what they said next,
“Jonathan, you’ve been living here now for over 6 months. When we ask you to do something, or to stop doing something, we mean it. We opened up our home to you out of the goodness of our heart and if you want to stay here you’re going to need to start contributing like it’s your home too.”
That makes sense right? Their house, their rules. Well I didn’t get it.
Smart
Cute Thinking Kid Girl In Glasses With Empty Bubble Looking
If I was smart, I would have realized this is a learning opportunity. I’ve been messing up,
I’ve been focusing on what I can get rather than what I can give.
The relationship has been completely one sided, not even close to 50/50, and you can guess what happened next. Another few months passed, I didn’t change much. I came home one day, I walked over to say hello to my short, non english speaking Italian Grandpa and before I could say a word he yelled, “GET OUT!”
I thought he was joking. He wasn’t…. I sat there devastated. I felt confused, I felt angry, but most of all, I felt stupid. How did I not see this coming? As much as I wanted to argue about all the reasons as to why I should stay, there just weren’t any.
Stupid
jetta- blog
What a sobering experience being homeless was for me. A few nights of sleeping in my car in the cold of winter made me completely see the light. The secret to living is giving!
Life is not a zero sum game. If you give, in any capacity, give with you money, connect someone to the right person, help them become more successful, if you give, it doesn’t mean there’s less for you. But that’s how I saw life!
I thought if I gave, you win, and I lose.
That is just so stupid. The world doesn’t work that way that way. In fact, the world works the opposite. 5 months ago I damaged my vocal cords. It still hurts to speak. I now realize, the times my throat feels the best, is when I’m helping people. When I’m giving a speech to share my mistakes or when a friend calls me up in need of a boost. The secret to living is giving, and there is only an upside in it for you and for me.
Be wise, and learn from my mistakes. Because sleeping in a warm soft bed with the fireplace blazing, beats the shit out of huddling in the cold in the backseat of my 2000 Jetta EVERY Time!
Leave a comment and let me know how you plan on giving more in your life!
Till then, stay on offense. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.
-J
Out.

Accountability: How to 4x the speed to your goals

In November of 2016, I had already been a member of toastmasters for 2 months. I badly wanted to complete my first speaking manual (10 prepared speeches). Yet 2 months into my membership, as much as this was a goal of mine,  I hadn’t even started…

As the end of November approached, and the accountability partnership between Ryan and I was beginning to  blossom, I formally made the goal to complete my manual. Initially, as many do, I set a one year goal to complete the manual by November of 2017. Most people take 1-2 years to finish this manual and I felt this timeline was both rational and doable. But, I forgot to factor in one critical element into that timeline… A belief that Ryan is constantly repeating, and I know to be true,

We’re stronger together.

With that at the forefront of my mind we decided that together, by holding each other responsible for our word that we could not only set big goals, but that we could accomplish them. With Ryan’s support I decided to dramatically collapse the timeframe on my goal. Instead of 1 year, I set the goal to finish my first speaking manual by March 31st, 2017. From 1 year to 3 months, I collapsed the timeline by 4x!

What seemed unreasonable and even impossible with my busy schedule, quickly became a reality in every weekly accountability call with Ryan. With 9 speeches under my belt today and my final speech scheduled for Tuesday March 14th, I will officially have completed my goal with two weeks to spare!

Ps. Outlined below is the exact system Ryan and I use for our accountability partnership. But, if you’re not convinced that this process will make a dramatic difference in your results, whether it be in your relationships goals, business goals, or you just wanted to improve your mental health like me, read this first.

Do This. 

  1. Find your partner– Unable to accept excuses, your accountability partner must be 100% confident being honest with you. In turn, you must be able to reciprocate the same level of candid support. Nobody wins in this process unless both of you are holding each other responsible for what you say you’re going to do.
  2. Create a shareable google doc– This document will be both passive and active.
  3. Set your own personal and professional goals (passive)– Do you want to improve your physical or mental health? Make more money? Get better grades? Have a stronger relationship with your family or partner? Here are examples of Ryan and I’s current top priorities.
  4. Choose a time for your weekly accountability calls– Ryan and I have our call every Thursday from 6:30-7pm. We often get so deep in conversation that it will run over the 30 minute cap.
  5. Set weekly goals that align with the achievement of your monthly or annual top priorities- This is critical. In order to get the most of of your time together, you will need to set and hold each other accountable for your weekly goals. Ask yourself what is the smallest next step I can take? Too many people look at their HUGE one year goal, are overwhelmed, and never start. Set actionable, bite size goals that will get the ball rolling!
  6. Structure your weekly call– This may take you a few weeks to get into a rhythm. Here’s what works well for us…
    1. Be transparent about the completion or incompletion of your prior weeks goals (5 minutes total).
    2. Discuss the blocks, or challenges you faced that week.  It’s important here to avoid excuses, or blaming circumstances for the incompletion of your goals. Instead, take ownership. Did you set unrealistic goals? Did you procrastinate? I often make the mistake of being overly ambitious and setting too many unimportant goals rather than 1 or 2 I can dive deep into (10 minutes)
    3. Discuss any wins or “aha” moments in the week. Celebrate victories and document what is working. If you find a cadence or tactic that is working, make sure you write it down and repeat it (10 minutes)!
    4. Set your goals for the next week. Make sure they’re aligned with your monthly or annual top priorities (we often come to the call with our goals already prepped and put it up on the doc during our call together- 5 minutes).
    5. Get to work!
  7. Start today– If I knew I would 4x the speed to my goals by having an accountability partner, I would have started this process years ago. If you’re like me and are often disappointed in yourself for procrastinating or feeling uninspired to to set big goals, I know this system will jumpstart your success! No excuses, just work. Please find your buddy and get started today!

I want to know if this system works for you. If you’ve decided to stay accountable for your goals and take your fulfillment to the next level, leave a comment! Let Ryan and I know what works, what your challenges are and how we can help.

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.

-J

Out.

 

 

 

How to get started, keep going, and feel fulfilled chasing your goals

The majority of my life I have lied to myself. I have made commitments, set goals and promised myself I would take an action, only to disappoint myself over and over and over again. So, what held me back? What hold millions of people back everyday from accomplishing their goals?
Like me, I strongly believe a disproportionate amount of people aren’t being held accountable for their word.
Lack of accountability is dangerous. For most people it leads to a life of waiting, pondering. and contemplating. Without action, without accountability, it’s understandable why millions of brilliant, creative and well meaning people never accomplish their hearts greatest dreams and desires.
I found this to be true in my own life, many times, and the hard way. In the next few minutes I will urge you to implement accountability in your own life. If done with intentionally, with structure and the right intentions, you will find it helps you get started on your goals, keeps you going, and makes the entire process of goal achievement more fulfilling.
Accountability Gets You Started Taking Action
getting-started-blog-4
In November of 2016 my best friend Ryan and I were reflecting on how the past year had progressed. We looked at our relationships, our finances, and ultimately the goals that we had set from the beginning of the year. We admitted that neither had completed what we hoped we would. Sound familiar? Setting goals year after year, getting side tracked or procrastinating, and than looking back a year later totally uninspired to get started with this years goals?
That’s where we were. Hell, I told Ryan that I would have a minimum of 15 blog posts completed by December 1st, 2017! I hadn’t even started. Frustrated, we decided that 2017 would be different.  We decided not to tackle this year alone. That if we worked as a team, holding each other responsible for our word, that we could not only set big goals, but that we could accomplish them!
If it wasn’t for the system we developed, I would still be planning the stories I wanted to share, worrying about how readers may judge me, and coming up with other excuses as to why I couldn’t jump in and get the ball rolling.
With accountability on the other hand, I was forced immediately into action. My goals were no longer just ideas floating around in my head  They were real and shared with another human being. Humans easily lie to ourselves. But we have a hard time committing our word to someone we respect, and not following through. Knowing that I had my accountability call with Ryan in 7 days, I was forced into action. I knew I committed my word and I respected Ryan to much to not start. Today I am lightyears ahead of this years goals and can’t wait to crush every one of them!
Accountability Keeps You Going
keeps-you-going-blog-4
The path to anything worth doing in life is laid on a road of obstacles. In the pursuit of your goals, sometimes you just get hit with roadblock after roadblock and obstacle after relentless obstacle. Having an accountability partner will help keep you going.
I never realized it until many years later, but when I battling with depression at 16, I had an accountability partner. I was abusing drugs at the time and knew, if I truly wanted to make a positive change in my life I had to quit. But, for anyone that personally knows the battle one faces when they are at war with an addiction, it wasn’t easy.
I told myself I would quit over and over only to relapse within 24- 48 hours. That cycle continued for weeks until I had an idea to throw out everything I owned that would trigger me to use it. It worked! For less than a week… I quickly found people in my high school that I could buy from and was immediately struggling again, worse then when I had I started.
Months later nothing had changed. Until I finally decided to tell my dad what I was going through. He expressed that as a police officer he knew the symptoms from the beginning. He understood I was in pain, and was much more empathetic than I ever expected.
Together we started again, and together it kept me going.
6 years later I look back admiring the courage I had to ask for help. I appreciate that if it wasn’t for the accountability and trust between me and my Dad, I’d likely still be addicted to this very day.  
Accountability Makes The Process Fulfilling
fulfuillment-pic-blog-4
Life is too short to set and achieve goals alone. Accountability partners make the entire process more fulfilling and fun. With an accountability partner, as much as they are helping you stay on track of your goals, you’re simultaneously helping them stay on track with their goals! Tony Robbins says,
“The secret to living is giving”
 Accountability is about so much more than you! It is a processes of actively giving a part of yourself to support and inspire someone you love and respect. By joining forces with an accountability partner you will have more fun accomplishing your goals and you will feel more fulfilled in helping someone else accomplish theres!
Week over week, I feel good about the progress I’m making on my goals.  But, more than I could have ever anticipated, I feel amazing about the progress that Ryan is making! This made me realize the truth in Tony Robbins words. If I feel even better helping Ryan, than I do achieving my own wins… Than the secret to life is giving.
I hope my stories of accountability leave a lasting impression on you. I hope that it inspires you to tackle this new year with an accountability partner. If you do… Look out! 2017 will be the most action packed, fulfilling and new years resolution butt kicking years of your life!
Ps. If you’re interested in the system Ryan and I use for our accountability, I will be posting another blog later this week. It will highlight the frequency, structure and tools we use to make sure we’re held responsible for our word!

Till next time, stay on offense. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.

– J

Out.