*BONUS* – Profile Of A Champion: Resilience

I love reading about war and history. And because of that, I love reading about soldiers. To me soldiers represent the pinnacle of what it means to be a champion. And two weeks ago, when I was listening to an audio of the book “18 Platoon“, I was struck with the realization that I was missing the most critical component to what makes someone a champion.

Soldiers, throughout history, have experienced life’s most stressful tests of the human spirit. There is no other group whom work harder, face more adversity, and have made a bigger impact to the degree of freedom and security we experience today than soldiers. As I was listening to the Jocko Podcast, I understood that it would be foolish not to take the time to study and learn from a group of people who’re literally willing to die for what they believe in.

In “18 Platoon”, Sydney Jary, commander of 18 Platoon, shared his lessons learned about combat and life. I’ve been so inspired by what he wrote that I haven’t been able to get it off my mind for weeks. This bonus profile is a direct result of what Sydney wrote in his book,

“The personal characteristics which go to make a good infantry soldier… I would suggest firstly, sufferance, the ability to suffer. Without which, one could not survive.”

I had to pause the audio. In that moment I was instantly brought back to my thirteen year old self. At thirteen, I remember travelling across Canada competing at the National level of trampoline. In 2008, I faced off with athletes in an under seventeen category. Meaning, the majority of the competitors were fifteen or older. At thirteen, I managed to finish ninth in Canada! My parent’s were proud, my coach was proud, and my gym was proud.

I, was devastated.

I hated myself for what I thought represented a miserable personal failure. I quit trampoline because I believed I didn’t have what it took to win.

I, was right.

It’s easy to make the excuse that I was only thirteen and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. But, without a critical eye on ourselves, how can we get better?  While listening to those words, I realized that at thirteen I really didn’t have what it took to win. I lacked the resilience, work ethic, and the ability to suffer like a soldier. My competitors were more mentally prepared, spent more time working on their skills, and suffered through more gruelling workouts than I did.

I, was soft.

This was a serious epiphany. Instantly, I understood that although I’m not a soldier, and I won’t lose or literally die on a battlefield, if I don’t develop sufferance I will lose on the battlefield of life.

Lacking resilience has been one of my biggest vulnerabilities. More resilience could have kept me training trampoline. More resilience could have prevented my depression. With more resilience you and I would both be exponentially more skillful and successful. And because of that I’ve become obsessed with developing more girt and mental fortitude. To be a champion, we need to be willing to suffer, face more adversity, and persevere longer and more intensely than anyone of our competitors. If we can do that, we’ll dominate the marketplace.

I then began to ask myself who I know that has grit and mental fortitude? Who do I know that’s willing to face more adversity and persevere longer than anyone of their competitors? Who do I know that’s dominating the marketplace of business and life? Who do I know that’s developed the ability to suffer?

Ah yes, Kevin.

Animalia - Portrait

Back in 2015, our Entrepreneurship class at Georgian College had a weekly speaker series. That year we had over a dozen speakers teach us about business and life. To this day, I’ve never seen any of those people again, except one, Kevin Rempel. As a 2013 World Champion and 2014 Sochi Paralympic bronze medalist in sledge hockey, Kevin is one of the greatest examples of overcoming adversity I’ve ever heard. He stood in front of that class in 2015, and I’ve never looked at adversity the same again.

In 2006, while pursuing his passion for Motorcross, Kevin crashed, hard.

Paralyzed, he started his journey to learn to walk again at age twenty three. Adding to this, Kevin had to deal with his father, Gerry, who also was living in a wheelchair. Gerry had become a paraplegic himself after falling from a tree in a deer hunting accident. Only one year into Kevin’s recovery, Gerry took his own life in July 2007.

While mourning the loss of his father, battling depression, and looking for inspiration in his life, Kevin found the sport of sledge hockey. He immediately set his sights on making team Canada and playing in the Paralympics. As you’re well aware, he did just that (you can find the video of his journey here).

When I heard Kevin’s story for the first time two years ago I was inspired. But, today, he’s become a model that we can all follow and strive towards. He’s since been featured around the world on TSN, BBC Sport, and CTV. He’s become an author, a keynote speaker on mental health and building resilience, an advocate for the sport of sledge hockey, and the entrepreneur behind an incredible business with a big mission the Sledge Hockey Experience. He’s become a champion.

As an entrepreneur who’s extremely busy building a business, I was excited to extract from Kevin’s stories a practical philosophy that we can implement immediately. His life has, and continues to serve, as an example of both why we need to develop resilience and how we can start, today.

Be The Hero Of Your Own Movie

Wouldn’t it be nice if everything we wanted in life came to us with no effort? Oh, how nice life would be if I didn’t have to struggle and put in effort to accomplish my goals!

Wrong.

On a surface level, that may sound appealing, but anyone that believes that is delusional.

Imagine you’re at the movie theatre. When the movie starts, the main character is born. He then proceeds to grows up in a rich family, meet the girl of his dreams, build a big business with no challenge or headaches, and then grows old and dies with the love of his life at his side. Do you think that would get many Oscar nominations? NO. If we didn’t fall asleep halfway in, we’d be asking, where’s the drama, where’s the adversity, where is the hero’s journey?

We all know that we’re not drawn to stories of overnight success! In fact, often we despise them. We’re drawn in to the story of the underdog. We’re excited to see someone come back from failure and from persist through adversity. And if that’s true for movies, and real life examples of individuals like Oprah, Hellen Keller, and Thomas Edison, why would that be any different for you?

As I’ve watched Kevin over the past few years, I’ve realized that he embraces the hero’s journey. He gets joy and pride out of being the underdog. He’s shown me that cultivating the mindset of becoming the hero of our own movie is the first mindset shift we need to make in order to embrace resilience. We need to not only embrace the fact that our story will and should have obstacles, but we need to start to appreciate that it’s the only thing that makes our story worth telling.

Kevin remembers the exact moment when he made this distinction for himself. He remembers that in extreme sports it was part of the culture to always get back up after they fell hard. When riders in Motorcross would fall, they would bounce back, and take pride in their grit and mental strength.

Kevins bruise.png

He shared that the moment he broke his back, he knew he wanted to make a comeback. He knew he wanted to be the hero of his own movie. Despite all of the pain, the screaming people, and the thoughts rushing through his head, one of the first things he said was,

“Chris, you better be filming this.”

Knowing that obstacles are what make stories great, it’s critical to ask yourself  are you avoiding obstacles, or are your embracing them? Are you forcing yourself into uncomfortable places, or are you shying away and holding yourself back? Are you becoming the hero of your own movie, or are you trying to live a tale of timid comfort?

Kevin believes that being the hero of your own movie is as simple as being the shy person who’s willing to speak up. Being the irresponsible spender who’s willing to invest and save. Or, being the overweight couch potato who says enough is enough and gets into the gym and starts working out. Whatever the trials and tribulations of your life, however small or large the adversity, embrace that test. In those moments, take the time to detach and step back. As you observe yourself confronting challenges, remind yourself that the hero of your movie would courageously step into the unknown, and step up as a champion.

Accept responsibility

Masters of their circumstances never blame or make excuses. The champion knows that everything they experience in life is a result of who they are and what they’ve done. They always take responsibility for the good and the bad. And if you want to cultivate resilience, moving yourself closer and closer towards what it takes to become a champion, you need to take ownership, too.

Late last year, Kevin experienced yet another devastating obstacle. In the first week of December, he was checking on his Sledge Hockey trailer parked at the Mastercard Centre in Etobicoke. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had last used the trailer, but as he drove up, he noticed the lock was broken. Stunned, he quickly got out of his car, threw open the door, and found all of his equipment gone. In a split second he went from working passionately on his dream of educating people about Sledge Hockey, to being burdened with over five thousand dollars of stolen equipment.

He was cheated.

It was unfair.

Arguably, it wasn’t his fault.

Or was it?

“You must own everything in your world. There is no one else to blame.” – Jocko Willink

For most, including myself, this degree of adversity, this early into the stages of any business, would have taken us right out of the game. It would have been easy to blame, make excuses, and believe that the world was conspiring against us. In times of crisis it’s natural for us to be overwhelmed by emotions. But, the difference between the champion and everyone else, isn’t that  they don’t feel anger, frustration, and heartbreak, they feel all of the same emotions to their fullest range, the difference is that they interpret them differently!

sledge-hockey-gear-stolen.png

Kevin accepted immediately that the trailer being broken into was his fault. He shouldn’t have left it there so long. He shouldn’t have parked it where there was no surveillance. It was his fault and he took ownership of that. Accepting responsibility allowed him to focus his energy on being a victor, rather than a victim.

Not only did he immediately start working on a solution, he was able to use the experience to bring massive awareness to sledge hockey. He documented the experience (the video is inspiring), showing his positive mental attitude and how people can be resilient in the face of adversity.

His video got hundreds of shares and over 10,000 views. Again, he was being the hero of his own movie. He not only continued to help advocate for the sport he loved and find a way to get new equipment, but he further became an example for others on how to react when confronted with challenge.  He proved that the champion doesn’t blame or make excuses, they accept responsibility and leverage their resilience to keep growing.

Never Give Up

Who knows where I would be today if I would have persisted in Trampoline. I could be competing on the world stage, in the Olympics, and representing our country. But, unfortunately, I will never know. Can you relate to not knowing?

Do you ever wonder what could, should, and would have been if you never gave up? I think about it all the time. Candidly, I’m emotionally overwhelmed every four years when I see the Olympics on T.V. I experience so much regret knowing that I had the potential, I just didn’t have the heart.

To this day, lacking resilience, or the ability to suffer, has been the biggest vulnerability in my character. From Trampoline, to experiencing depression in high school, to quitting my first business after only two years, I’ve only scratched the surface of my potential because I was never willing to persevere. It’s a sobering thought looking back on our lives, knowing that we had so much more energy, effort, and passion to give. I never want to feel that way again.

I want to challenge you to never feel that way about yourself, either. I want to challenge you to remind yourself of Shakespeare every time you feel like giving up,

“Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course.”  – William Shakespeare

Now it’s one thing to know that conceptually, but it’s another thing to put it into practice. Kevin has taught me through his experience that Shakespeare’s dead on the money. In July of 2007, Kevin’s father gave up. He took his own life. Kevin wanted to give up, too. He experienced a debilitating depression that was almost too much to cope with. But, Kevin found his strength. He knew giving up was never the right answer. No matter the pain, no matter the darkness, no matter how much he missed his dad, he wasn’t willing to give up.

Because of that experience, Kevin became stronger. As he faced more trials and tribulations, they became easier to overcome. He was developing resilience through his hardships. He began to embrace adversity, because as Shakespeare said, it is the wisest course.

Throughout our conversation, Kevin repeated more than once,

“Resilience comes from accepting challenge and adversity as a part of life. You need to go through tough times, you can only build it through experience, there’s no other way.”

Whether it’s the tears and calluses you’ll develop on your hands in the gym, the blow to your ego you’ll experience embarrassing yourself in public, or the depression you can’t shake from all the stressors of life, remember that what you’re going through is the path to your greatest self. It’s the path to what you deserve to have, what you deserve to do, and who you deserve to become. It’s the path to becoming a champion.

Imagine if Kevin gave up.

He never would have been able to hug his friends and family again…

He never would have been able to help the sport of sledge hockey, or those suffering from mental health challenges and depression…

He would never have been a world champion or Paralympian…

Kevin for kevins blog 2

The message is simple, you have the strength to win on the battlefield of life. But, it’s only you that can decide to remain resilient. Only you can decide if you’re willing to suffer, face more adversity, and persevere longer and more intensely than anyone of your competitors. Only you can decide to never give up.

So, never give up.

Ever.

Do This:

  1. Educate– Kevin has developed a resource available for anyone to use for free. Inside his 10 Commandments of Resiliency e-book, he outlines the tools, strategies, and philosophies he uses to build resilience that go far above and beyond what I can explain in one post. If you want access to those resources, you can download it here.
  2. Practice– Don’t let a lack of mental fortitude stand in the way between you and your goals. Use this post and Kevin’s e-book as working documents for developing resilience in your life. Start by developing the philosophy that you can become the hero of your own movie. When you’ve mastered that, come back and take notes on what it means to take responsibility for all of the obstacles you’re going through. And finally, if you ever feel like quitting, we’re here to help remind you that giving up is not an option.
  3. Share– I’ve never asked any of my readers to share a post before. However, I feel so strongly that this message, and Kevin’s story, could be the catalyst for so many people to overcome their greatest adversity. If you feel that this post can help anyone you know, please share, it would mean the world to me.

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight but you can change the direction.”

-J

Out.

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Profile Of A Champion: Sowing and Reaping

When I look back on my high school experience, Physics was disproportionately my least favourite class. I was completely disinterested and for that reason my grades suffered. I would be bored, I’d play on my phone, and I’d often fall asleep in class. I felt, like many students do, that Physics had no relevance in my life. If time is our most valuable asset, why was I wasting it learning about something I’d never use? What I failed to recognize at the time was that not only did the laws of Physics and the laws of nature matter, they were all that mattered.

Take Newton’s third law as an example. Newton’s third law describes the purpose of action and reaction in our experience. He said,

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

He was able to demonstrate in Physics that the size of the force on one object would equal the size of the force on a second object. Therefore the greater force applied in the primary action, the greater force experienced as a reaction. On top of that, it’s implied that if no force is applied in the first place, there is no cause for any reaction or result of any kind.

Sitting in that Physics class I didn’t see the big picture. In fact, it wasn’t until I was introduced to Jim Rohn that I fully grasped what it meant to leverage this law. To me, Jim was world class at simplifying ideas. Jim said the exact same thing in a slightly different way. In this life changing video, he demonstrates the powerful operating system that all the champions and high performers live their lives through. To phrase Newton’s Law as Jim would,

“Whatever you sow, you shall reap.”

Now that made sense! If the farmer didn’t sow his seeds in the spring, he reaped no harvest in the fall. But, if the farmer sowed day and night throughout the spring and tended to the weeds through the summer, a full harvest would virtually always follow. When I looked at my life from the lens of sowing and reaping, instead of Physics, I understood why I wasn’t reaping good. Unlike the champions, I didn’t have the action habit. I wasn’t working hard.  I wasn’t consistently applying force towards the accomplishment of a goal. I wasn’t taking the action required to sow the seeds of my future success.

Candidly, I was an average student, an average athlete, and I felt very depressed. I tried to blame my teachers, my school, and I’m ashamed to say it, even my parents. I didn’t realize what was causing such dismal results until I started to meet people who were reaping good. Until, on a consistent basis, I was surrounded by winners. By people who were taking action, sowing seeds and as a result, were reaping the benefits that virtually always follow.

For example, many of the fellows in Venture for Canada have been leveraging this law to reap fantastic harvests in their lives for years! In the March 2017 selection day I was asked to help facilitate a room of finalists. In that room I met one of the most impressive young professionals I’d ever seen. She was sharp, witty, and gave off the impression she was a seasoned veteran in high-stakes environments. I had a gut feeling from our brief introduction that she would rock the day and that I would see her a few months later as a member of our cohort. I was right.

Sam Sproule Headshot

Highly influenced by her parents, Sam Sproule was born in Rockland, Ottawa. In 2016, she graduated from Acadia University with a Business Administration Degree, majoring in Entrepreneurship and Innovation. Unsatisfied with the impact she left at the school, she successfully ran for President of the Acadia Students’ union for the 2016-2017 year. While being responsible for the Unions $2.5 million operating budget, she also advocated for the needs of students to all three levels of government, as well as, to the University through the Board of Governors and Senate. If that wasn’t enough action already, Sam took on a honours research project that has now laid the foundation for a entrepreneurship-focused living space on campus at Acadia University. Impressive? Yes. Possible without the massive and dedicated action towards her goals? No.

As I got the opportunity to get to know Sam better, I learned two things.

  1. She is one of the most humble people I know. She has accomplished so much and yet I had to pry hard to get to the specifics of her wins.
  2. She is an impressive relationship builder. I could see in her story, woven together like beautiful poetry, the cause and effects of building deep and meaningful relationships.

Sam demonstrated to me that in the life of the champion, the 5 Laws of Sowing and reaping always play out. In this profile you’ll learn how to avoid the grips of regret while simultaneously squeezing as much as possible out of this short life.

Sowing and Reaping Applied

First: The law of sowing and reaping is negative. 

Thistle for blog

If you sow bad, you reap bad. This is extremely basic, but it’s important to cover the basics. If you plant thistle seeds, you don’t get pumpkins. If you’re like me at sixteen and you plant mental seeds of insecurity, you don’t get confidence. If you plant seeds of deception through lies, you don’t get trust. Or if you plant no seeds through procrastination, you don’t get the results that come from taking action! Remember, the law is negative.

Second: The Law of sowing and reaping is positive.

Pumpkins for blog

If you sow good, you reap good. If you plant pumpkin seeds, you won’t get thistles! And the more I learned about Sam, the more I realized she was planting pumpkin seeds. Her whole life she’s been sowing seeds of trust, generosity, and hard work. When she decided to return to Acadia in the 2016-2017 school year, she had already spent three years developing a broad network and deep relationships throughout campus.

Despite never been on the Students’ Representative Council and being considered an underdog in the race, Sam applied to run as president. Typically, having served as a member of the Council would be expected, especially for one applying to become President. However, Sam’s narrative emphasizes the importance of sowing good seeds of reputation.

Sam had worked at the Union information desk and the school bar. She was on 24/7 attending events and meeting people. All the while showing up in life as sincere, hard working, and genuinely prepared to advocate for the students she would represent. In the end, against all odds, she sowed good and as a result was well deserving in her presidential election.

Third: You do not reap what you sow. But rather, you reap much more than you sow. 

Reaping more than you sow for blog

This is where the law of sowing and reaping gets exciting. The key here is more. You don’t get back what you put out, you get back much more than you put out. It’s important to remember that again, the law works both positive and negative. On the negative side it says, if you sow to the wind, you get the whirlwind. I found that to be true. A few years of negative thinking, an idle body, and being in the wrong environment, projected me into years of anxiety and depression. The darkest days of my life taught me profound lessons about protecting my mind and the criticality of sowing good seeds.

On the positive side, it’s clear that when the farmer plants his seeds of corn, kale, or apple trees he reaps an abundant harvest 10x what he planted. He doesn’t get back one apple, he experiences the joy of sharing generations of apples with his family. The same law proved true in Sam’s University life.

All of the hard work leading up to being President of the Student Union payed off.  But, becoming president was just the start. Sam was given more opportunities than she had ever imagined. She began to represent and advocate for over 20,000 students while working with Students Nova Scotia as well as over 250,000 Federally with the Canadian Alliance of Student Association. Here, Sam continued to build her reputation of working hard for student advocacy. Along with her team, she met with Members of the Legislative Assembly, Members of Parliament , and Senators to discuss priorities for students on accessibility, affordability, and affecting policy. This alone should be a fantastic motivator for all of us knowing that we do in fact reap more than we sow. But, there’s more.

Not only did those experiences themselves plant new seeds of skills and confidence, it continued to build upon the foundation and credibility she had started years prior. Still a student at the time, she was additionally dedicating her entire year to a seventy page research paper. Her paper would highlight entrepreneurship on campus and argue the benefits of creating a space for students to collaborate informally on projects of passions. Here we see the third law play out again!

If we only reaped what we sowed, having the entrepreneurial residence on campus come to fruition, because of her paper, would be the end of the story. But, again, there is much more. If it wasn’t for the reputation she had built and for the seeds she had sown while creating her honours paper, we never would have met! Her professor was so impressed by her work ethic that he introduced Sam to the Atlantic Program Director for Venture for Canada. Now a member of Venture for Canada she is set up to continue to receive an abundant harvest for years to come.

Fourth: You reap what you sow, but…

Rain of parade gif for blog

One thing better than the truth is the whole truth… Here’s the whole truth. You could lose. There are times when no matter how many seeds you plant, no matter how many relationships you build, and no matter how hard you work it doesn’t pay off. Remember the farmer?

The farmer plants his seed in the spring, come summer he works ten-twelve hours a day, six-seven days a week. He has the character of a champion and come fall he’s got a beautiful crop. Not to mention, he deserves every bit of it. But, the day before he sends the combines into the field, a hail storm comes and beats all of his crop into the ground. Which means, he lost! He did nothing wrong. It’s just that kind of planet. Sometimes it will hail on your crop and rain on your parade. Sometimes you lose, that’s part of life. But…

Last: If you don’t sow, you don’t reap. 

empty wallet

The biggest mistake I made with the law of sowing and reaping is that I had lost so many times I gave up trying. Never give up sowing good seeds! If you don’t sow, you don’t reap. You don’t even have a chance! It’s a tough to come to grips with the fact that no matter how hard we work we could lose. But what a tragedy it would be to run through life never really giving yourself a shot? Imagine the regret knowing that at the end of your life you never sowed the seeds of the life you truly desired.

You never met the girl. You never did that one gig for free that could have blown up your career. You never learned that language that could have opened your life up to unlimited possibilities. Avoiding regret and living like a champion is simple, but not easy. Sam shared that no matter your path, hard work will always be respected and appreciated. Make a decision today that you will plant the seeds of the future you desire. Otherwise, you may not get another chance.

Do this. 

For many, including myself, the law of sowing and reaping may not be clear at first. Most people can understand that they’re not reaping extraordinary results, but it doesn’t mean they know why. If you’re still confused like I was for a long time about how this all applies, the answer could be in the same quote written a different way.

“Whatever you reap is what you’ve sown.”

Now the problem is clear, we can go to work on improving our lives right away! Whatever you reap is what you’ve sown. If you don’t like the results, who do you look up? Answer, whoever planted it! And where can you find who planted your crop? Answer, in the mirror!

  1. Go to the mirror– When fall comes around we need to go to the mirror. Who’s responsible for what’s showing up in our lives? Whether we like the harvest or not, we’re responsible for planting the seeds of our lives. We need to take ownership of everything we do, have, and become. If you’re ecstatic about an abundant harvest that you’ve reaped, good. Document what’s working and triple down! If you’re unimpressed with the few skinny carrots you’ve delivered at the end of the day, good. It’s an opportunity for you to be honest with yourself about your work ethic, commitment, and focus. Then, take ownership and make it happen.
  2. Know what you want- It’s critical to understand what you’re after. If you don’t know what you want and the direction you want to take, there’s a high probability you won’t plant enough seeds into one specific priority, to achieve anything of substance. The champion is willing to focus their energies into a specific goal for weeks, months, and even years. Getting clear on what you want will allow you to invest your energy wisely.
  3. Be like Sam- Sam is a champion. And with each champion that I’ve interviewed, it’s clear they’ve all sown and invested huge amounts of time and resources into building strong relationships. If you’re going to remember one thing from this post, it’s to intentionally plant, and cultivate, deep personal and professional relationships. Almost all of Sam’s results, from becoming President of the Student Union, working with Governments, being introduced to Venture for Canada, and even to her current employment, has been the direct result of a relationship she had developed. Be like Sam and start sowing today!

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight but you can change the direction.”

-J 

Out.

Profile Of A Champion: The Giver

Five months ago, I got kicked out of my Nona’s house. New to the city and now homeless, I didn’t have a clue of where to go next. At the time I was stressed, anxious, and pissed off at my grandparents. But looking back, I’d never change the tough love I experienced. The entire situation forced me to look critically at myself. A couple nights of huddling in the freezing cold, in the backseat of my 2000 Jetta, really helped me see my shortcomings!

In those moments, I realized that I had always been on the receiving end of my relationships. I defaulted into being a taker, asking for more than I’d given. I lived with my Nona for 6 months, rarely, if ever, contributing. I was focused on writing, reading, speaking, and volunteering outside of our home. And it was through this experience I learned that the taker never wins long term. It’s the honest giver who earns your trust, confidence and admiration. Givers earn your respect. It is they who are valued and who embody the champion. It became clear to me that if I was going to become a champion, I needed to develop a giving mentality.

Fortunately, there have been more champions in my life today than ever before! When I was at Venture for Canada training camp in May, I observed individual after individual that demonstrated this invaluable trait. The more champions I met, the more generosity, selflessness, and giving continued to show up as a theme in their character. One fellow in particular caught my attention. They went out of their way to compliment others, to share all of their best strategies and tools, and to made sure to contribute to the positive experience of every single fellow.

During the morning session of my third day, she sat in front of forty people, completely vulnerable, and shared her mind map. The map consisted of all her goals, ambitions, and plans for the year ahead. Meant for her eyes only, she shared the essence of who she was with a group she had met only a couple of days ago. As the map was passed around, eventually landing on my lap, I read one of the most profound mission statements I’d ever seen. It wrote,

“My purpose lies in living a life that creates social good, both personally and professionally. I will live a life that embodies generosity, kindness, strength and compassion. I prioritize balance and well-being. I will make time to discover the world. And I will seize every opportunity to learn and I will be present for those I love and who love me.”

I immediately knew she was the model I sought out. She was the missing link that could open me up to a world of giving and social good. Her name, is Lucia.

Lucia profile of a champion headshot

Lucia has been by far one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. As her mission statement suggests, Lucia is engrossed in multiple ventures to help leave a positive impact in this world. One, accessible to support by the public, is an initiative to build libraries in needy schools and communities throughout her home country, Honduras. This year she is hoping to launch two more ventures, one to promote gender parity in STREAM fields through play, and one to champion innovation in emerging markets. On top of that, she wakes up between 4:30 and 5am everyday, is Trilingual, and is working on her first belt in Krav Maga (I wouldn’t mess with her if I was you). During the day, she works full-time as the Marketing Coordinator for the National Angel Capital Organization.

If that wasn’t impressive enough, the more I get to know her, the more I realize that she embodies all eight of the qualities making up the profile of a champion. And because of that she’s paved a path for what it means to be a giver. If we model that path, we too can live a life of abundance and fulfillment.

Now, before you can live that life, it’s important to know what to avoid. Let me help you with that.

The Taker

The taker

Both Lucia and Adam Grant, Author of “Give and Take“, would characterize the behaviour while living at my Nona’s as that of a taker. The taker views interactions as a way of extracting value from other people. They approach people with the mindset of, “How can  get as much as possible from this exchange?” They tend to believe that by taking, it’s the shortest and most direct path to achieving their own goals.

Admittedly, and unfortunately, that was true for me. I was too frugal to contribute in rent. And even if I couldn’t afford to pitch in with money, I didn’t try to help out in other ways. I took advantage of the food in the house instead of helping out with the groceries or cooking for my grandparents. I didn’t care for the house or try to help maintain it. I didn’t clean up after myself enough. I didn’t even contribute to the laundry…

Looking back, I recognize my selfishness. I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out sooner! And I’m lucky that’s all that happened. If you’re a taker, more often than not, you’ll burn bridges in your relationships and start to be known as someone who is selfish, narcissistic, and cancerous to teams. So let me be clear, the taker never wins long term. They may get lucky and avoid being noticed at first, but in the long run, they will be exposed and lose.

While most people will never be exclusively  givers or takers, the champion is, by and large, a giver. So if you recognize yourself in the description of the taker and want to work towards becoming a champion as I do, it’s time to audit your behaviour and at least be a matcher.

The Matcher

The matcher

If you’re thinking I’m being pretty hard on myself, I am. It’s by being critical of my behaviour that I’ve been able to transition to being at least a matcher. In most of our interactions, our instinct is to maintain and even balance of give-and take in life. We try to keep fairness and a sense of quid pro quo in our dealings with others. If we do someone a favour, we virtually always expect an equal one in return.

This is where I see myself today. As a salesman, one of my favourite books is Robert Cialdini’s, “Influence“. In that book, the first rule of influence is reciprocity. Robert shares that in society, we’ve grown up in a culture where I’m obligated to give back to you the same form of behaviour that you give to me. For example, if you invite me to one of your parties, I should invite you to one of mine. If you remember my birthday with a gift, I should bring one to yours. And if you do me a favour, I owe you a favour.

I loved that concept! It’s better than a taker right? Well, it turns out, only slightly. After diving into purpose, giving, and what it means to be generous with Lucia, I found out the huge difference intention makes in the giving process. When writing Ryan Cobb‘s post on doing more than expected, Lucia was literally the first one to message me privately and give me feedback for where I stumbled in his write up.

Much like Lucia, Ryan isn’t a matcher, he’s a giver. He doesn’t approach situations knowing that by doing and giving more than expected, he’ll in turn, get more because of reciprocity. No. Both Ryan and Lucia’s intentions when giving, are to give. End of story. It’s not about economics, it’s not about reciprocation, it’s about doing the right thing and how it makes them feel to be a giver. Lucia shared that,

“As soon as you start adding, ‘what am I getting out of this?’ your giving becomes disingenuous. You need to be willing to put others before yourself. The whole point of being a generous human being is that it comes from a place of helping others. Selflessness is key.”

Matchers, as Lucia pointed out, aren’t being generous. Further, in my experience with matching, I’ve even been seen as manipulative or that I was only doing a favour because I expected one in return. I don’t want to come from that place anymore. Do you? As a matcher, I do understand that I’m making better decisions than when I was a taker. But, I know I have the capacity to do better. Generosity is about intentions. I want to challenge you, as I have myself, that if your intentions are to take, or to give solely because we expect reciprocity, it’s time to start modelling a giver, immediately.

The Giver

Lucia Profile of a champion Screenshot

Every week on my Facebook wall I can expect to see this post by Lucia. Selflessly, she opens up her time, energy, and resources, to contribute to lives of her community in one way or another. Just as Adam Grant describes, the champion comes into an interaction trying to figure out, “What can I contribute here? How Can I add value here?” The champion is looking for ways to be helpful, without strings attached. 

Now that it’s clear what the giver looks like, there’s only one final question to ask: why is the champion a giver, rather than a matcher or taker?

As discussed, the taker will lose long term. Wether that is due to poor relationships or reputation, they aren’t able to build enough trust to open them up for opportunity in the future.

The matcher, although better, can still be perceived as having dishonourable intentions. On top of that, you will always have to give a matcher more if you want to receive more. Not only does this have diminishing returns, the matcher is less likely to take on a leadership role in tough times. When the situation has less to give, so does the matcher.

The giver however, should be our default mode. Have you ever wondered how you could feel more passion and zest for life? The answer is help other people. I’m a huge Tony Robbins fan. He’s famous for saying that one, of the only two paths to fulfillment, is through contribution.

The givers and the champions in your life find more meaning and purpose in their work and experience because they’re contributing. They know that what they do daily, truly makes a difference. They make it clear that their colleagues, friends, and family are really important to them, and as a result, they end up building many and deep relationships with people who often become sources of creative ideas and open doors to new opportunities.

According to Lucia, givers can look forward to more opportunities, responsibility, and respect. Over time, the more she gives, the more her professional results are dramatically amplified. Her coworkers and friends recognize this character trait, and know that if given a task or added responsibility, she will be generous with the effort she puts in. That is what builds her reputation. The possibilities for someone who is a problem solver, resourceful, and giving are endless.

She warns however that as much as it’s important to come from a place of selflessness, it’s equally important to be generous with one’s self.  Avoid becoming a doormat. Lucia stressed to me that being a giver is not always easy. It’s easy to take a beating because some people will take advantage of you. So remember, just like on an airplane, we need to put our own oxygen mask on first, to make sure we can support and give to those around us. In the end, the quality and quantity of what we give is improved when it’s coming from a happier, balanced, and nurtured place.

I don’t know about you, but I want endless possibilities. I want more respect, trust, and deeper relationships in my life. I want to be a giver. Fortunately for me, and for anyone on the path to becoming a champion, we have examples like Lucia, Ryan, and others we can turn to and model.

Do This. 

  1. Learn from Lucia- Lucia’s Facebook post is only one of many examples of how she gives. One of the most humble people I know, Lucia described all of her initiatives to give as simply part of her values and purpose. She want’s to show others that there is more than one way to give. Today, she’s engaged in two socially conscious businesses. Volunteers with many charitable organizations and with her local MP. She contributes to building homes and even though she’s always wanted a tattoo, she’s never gone through with it because it would interrupt her blood donation schedule! The key is that Lucia is intentional with her giving. She regularly schedules time out of her busy life (trust me, I thought I was busy) to make a contribution. I personally plan on spending more time volunteering, how about you?
  2. Focus on the little things- If you can’t do that she said, simply focus on the small things you can do every single day. Where can you be more generous at work? With your family? With your friends? Can you hold doors? Share an insight of something you recently learned? Make an introduction? There are unlimited ways to be generous. Unlike the taker, Lucia says that the giver asks themselves daily, “Am I making the world better, yes or no?” “Am I making this persons life better, yes or no?” If you can’t go big, start small. You’ll feel so good, that small wins will grow into big ones over time!
  3. Start Now– Let’s go on this journey of giving together. Lucia has been generous even to provide her email for anyone that has further questions about generosity or her story (mgallardo115@gmail.com). Take her up on the offer because she’s the type of champion you want in your life!

Our families deserve our contribution. Our work deserves our contribution. Our Country deserves our contribution. And most importantly, we deserve the feelings of fulfillment and joy that will inevitably follow us on our path to endless possibilities!

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “you cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”

-J

Out. 

The Profile Of A Champion: Winning Circle

The secrets to life are often hidden behind the word cliché.

One in particular, get’s a lot of attention, yet, is rarely put into practice. Jim Rohn, one of the worlds all time greatest business philosophers, famously said,

“You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Commonly referred to as a cliché, this profound truth is common sense, yet uncommon in practice. In fact, it’s validity is so clear, the maxim has been communicated throughout history.

“Birds of a feather flock together.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“If you lay down with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.”

If it’s sheer restatement and repetition in literature wasn’t enough to get your attention, maybe a few definite examples will.

Think about Michael Jackson. Michael had talent. Michael was born with greatness. Up until, twelve he was seen as just a cute kid. It wasn’t until he met Quincey Jones, when he upgraded his circle of influence, that things started to explode for him! He went to a whole other level. Together they released “Off The Wall”, “Thriller”, Beat It”. Michael went from a cute little kid to a musical icon. He went to a whole other stratosphere by connecting with just one person!

Think about the 07-08 Boston Celtics. Prior to that season, the Celtics hadn’t won an NBA championship since 1986. In 2007 however, the Celtics traded for both Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. With Paul Pierce already in the Celtics lineup, Boston now had three all-star players on the floor. Individually, Paul Pierce was doing it, Ray Allen was doing it, and Kevin Garnett was doing it. But when they came together, they became champions. When they came together, they were unstoppable.

I could go on and on because I’ve researched it. When I was sixteen and depressed, the first thing I needed to do was change was my circle. That’s why I’m so proud to be part of the 2017 Cohort for Venture For Canada. I’m constantly being exposed to young professionals that are like minded. Who are focused on growth, focused on making an impact, and most importantly continue to stretch me to be a better version of myself.

One fellow in particular, is an obvious by-product of a winning environment. Every conversation we have is filled with wisdom far beyond his years. He’s someone that, wether he knows it or not, I look up to as a mentor. He reminds me everyday of the importance of having a Winning Circle. And I know his story will inspire you to start to create a Winning Circle of your own!

John Connell headshot for blog

A proud Nova Scotian, John Connell, is a fellow with Venture for Canada, SDR at Fiix, Volunteer at TechTo, Freelance Guitarist (he’s incredible), and recent graduate from York University. This eclectic background is a result of endless curiosity, paired with the exposure to a winning network of friends and family. Today John has experience the influence, and the corresponding effects, that come with both a Winning and a Toxic Circle. Here’s how you can identify both.

Growing up in Middleton, Nova Scotia, John was exposed to a tightly knit network of people that were connected through deep and encouraging relationships. Whether it was in his backyard, across the street, or at school, Middleton had a team mentality that left an impact on John to this day. He recalled that when you were feeling down, there was always someone there to pick you up. Everyone in the community was expressive, supportive and accountable.

That environment, the Winning Circle, was the perfect playing ground for developing leaders. In High School, John was challenged to be constantly moving, to always have a goal he was striving for, and to push beyond what seemed reasonable or comfortable at the time. This is an indicator of a true Winning Circle. You won’t always accomplish your goals and you won’t always win in your pursuits, but, when you fall, you will always be supported. You’ll always have your community to lean on in times of difficulty.

With the support of his friends, family, and community, John went on to become the captain of both his schools Rugby and Hockey teams. Again, John was exposed to the attitudes, attributes and aspirations that make up the Profile of a Champion. In his three years playing for his school John skated alongside teammates who went on to compete at the Jr. A and QMJHL level of hockey. John was amongst winners. And in the presence of winners John was forced to step up. Sitting on the porch of his apartment, he told me that he was never the best player. He didn’t skate the fastest, he didn’t shoot the hardest, he didn’t have skills people were awestruck by. But, because of his circle, he was forced to work harder. He was stretched. He was pushed and forced to grow. By skating with players that were better than him he had to step up and go from average to great.

That’s how you know if you’re in a winning circle! Do the family, friends, teams, or colleagues that you surround yourself with force you to grow? Do they demand a higher level of execution you’ve ever been exposed to? Do they accept average? Or, are they striving for greatness? In my experience it’s worth auditing the quality of your circles. Do they remind you of the Winning Circle we’ve described above? Or does it look more like this…

John and I have similar stories. From eight to thirteen I was competing for Canada in Gymnastics and Trampoline. I was exposed to greatness. I was exposed to the work ethic, attitudes, and execution of world class athletes. However, when I graduated elementary school and transitioned to High School I quit training twenty-five hours a week in order to have a social life. I lost the ever present  example of greatness in my life. In fact, like most people I see today battling depression and mental illness, I went on to choose the wrong circle. I chose a circle that had no direction, abused drugs, and skipped class. Looking back I’m not surprised at the negative, downward spiral my life took. And after speaking to John, I’m not surprised in the direction his life took either.

John shared with me that when he went to university, he lost his mojo. He lost the zest for life he felt when he was surrounded by winners. Without clear intention, John walked into his new school, new town, and new network. Unfortunately, more often than not, when you’re not intentional about your environment and who you decide to surround yourself with, you connect with the wrong group. You miss out on the circle that is aspiring towards big goals and accomplishing their dreams. You miss out on those that are intentional about their time on this planet. The group that by being in their presence you too will become more clear with your own direction.

That feeling of lack of purpose, or when you can’t quite put your finger on why you’re not feeling 100%, I attribute to being engaged in the wrong environment. John’s challenge is that he wasn’t necessarily in a toxic circle, he was in an average circle. They weren’t all negative, they weren’t all doing drugs, and they weren’t all directionless. They were average. Average is such a monstrous contrast from greatness. You get different feelings when you’re surrounded by winners. You hear different language when you’re surrounded by winners. You see different actions when you’re surrounded by winners.

Being surrounded by average can be even more dangerous than being surrounded by toxicity. With toxicity you can see, feel, and taste it. You’re conscious about it’s effects on you! With average… It’s effects are subtle. You find yourself wondering why you’re not feeling passionate and why you’re not winning. John didn’t know why he lost his mojo until he once again was exposed to greatness.

He didn’t find a way to feel positive, enthusiastic, and at the top of his game consistently until he met his now girlfriend, who helped him rebound from a difficult time. It was through their association and teamwork that they were able to pull the best out of each other. This close connection with a supportive and encouraging partner brought the winner back out of John. Her support helped pick him back up to the point where he started to get his mojo back. John was always a winner, he always had the attitude of a champion, but as John said better than I ever could,

“The champion needs desire, with the right support. You need to drive the ship, but  you can’t always pick yourself up on the grace of your own strength.” – John Connell

The more I get to know John, the more I’m proud to call him a mentor and a friend. In my opinion he epitomizes the Profile of a Champion. He has the attitude of a champion, the curiosity of a champion, the work ethic of a champion and most importantly he understands the criticality of surrounding himself with other champions.

As you reflect on your circle of influence, no matter where you are today, I know that you could be just like John, you could be one person away from becoming the best version of yourself. Or maybe you’re like me. Maybe you need two, three, or a whole community of people to support you. What really matters is that you can identify what type of community you’re being influenced by. Wether they’re winners or average, both will impact you through expectations and exposure.

In winning circles you’re expected to be a winner. The expectation is greatness. The expectation is that you’ll be a champion. The challenge with average circles is that when you’re good, you’re okay with being just good. When your environment is average, you start to believe you’re great. You can quickly become delusional because the expectations are low.

When you’re in a winning circle, all you’ve been exposed to is winning. All you see is great, so all you know is great. Exposure to greatness, winners, and champions will give you no choice but to step into your own greatness. Your environment is everything!

You don’t need a new brain or a new heat to change your life. The day your circle of influence changes, everything will change. You can only go so far by yourself and you can only get so far with the people you’re hanging with. If you surround yourself with winners, you’ll become a winner. If you surround yourself with losers you’ll become a loser. If you can change your circle of influence, you can change your money, your attitude, and your destiny. I dare you to take your life to the next level. I dare you to manifest the greatest circle you could possibly imagine!

Do This.

  1. Audit – What are you being exposed to? Do you need to add one person or a dozen people to your Winning Circle? Or perhaps you need to take one person or a dozen people out of your circle… Regardless of where you’re at, you need to be candid with where you’re starting. If you truly become the average of the five people you spend the most time with, do a gut check on whether or not you would be proud to be an amalgamation of those five people.
  2. Affirm – Affirm that you will no longer accept average. Affirm that you will no longer settle for good and that you will find a great community. Know that no matter your talent, no man is an island. Affirm that you will no longer fear being around great. That you will no longer be intimidated by being in circles of influence where you will be stretched, pushed, and forced to grow. Affirm that in your one and only life you will intentionally and deliberately change your circle of influence for the better.
  3. Act– Start today! Message John on LinkedIn. Download Shapr. Join a new group on Meetup. Cold email someone you look up to and ask for a meeting. There are countless ways to start developing your new Winning Circle. We’re stronger together as long as you’re deliberate that your new group embodies the Profile of a Champion and forces you to grow.

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “you cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”

-J

Out.

john-connell-headshot-for-blog-e1500067629869.jpg

The Profile Of A Champion: Burning Desire

When you study people who are up to something, the first attitude necessary before anything is achieved is desire.

But, if that’s all it took, we’d have a whole lot more successful people in this world. Most people live with an illusion that they have a desire to achieve something. These people talk a big game, but their actions never reflect their word.

They say they want to make extra money, but instead of starting their part time business, they watch Netflix every night.

They say they want to get better grades, but instead of studying in the library, they go out for lunch everyday.

They say they want to lose ten pounds, but instead of working out in the gym, they’ve got Cheetos dust on their fingers.

I observe this false illusion of desire everyday. And I can quickly recognize it because I was once in those same shoes. So the question is, how is desire held for the champion vs those that are runner up?

Desire for the champion is an imperative of purpose. Their vision, their purpose, their goal is larger than you and I as individuals. From afar, I had observed this level of desire time and time again through the examples of athletes and business leaders. Yet, I had never seen it so pronounced until I spent two full weeks with the top Canadian graduates at Venture for Canada.

I remember on one of the first weekends of training camp we kayaked, canoed, and paddle boarded on lake Ontario. The sun was shinning, our skin slowly burning, and everyone was smiling looking forward to the day on the water. Other than myself, one of the only other people paddle boarding was a new friend I had made, Tyler Sellars. We had made small talk previous to the day on the water, but we had never really connected about what brought us to Venture for Canada and what our future plans were. In only thirty minutes, it was clear to me that Tyler obviously embodied the first attitude of the champion, desire.

Tyler Sellar Pic for blog

Born in Moncton New Brunswick, Tyler grew up in a family who built their careers in the financial industry. He told me about how privileged he was growing up. At a young age, he understood the opportunities that having money could provide for him and his family. Being accustomed to this life of prosperity, he was unprepared for what happened next.

In 2008, at fourteen years old, his entire family’s lives were flipped upside down by the greatest financial crisis since the depression. In less than a year they went from comfortable living, to working pay-check to pay-check. With all the same bills to pay, no one was hiring his dad. They lived for years with little income. Becoming increasingly more difficult to pay for their competitive soccer fees anymore, Tyler remembers standing outside local businesses begging for money to keep him on the field.

Imagine how disempowering that would feel.

The contrast between rich and poor weighed so heavily on him that it drove him to make a decision. 

Tyler shared with me that he made a decision that he would never live like that again. He made a decision that he would take ownership of his income, his freedom, and his life.

In those decisions, Tyler developed the first attitude of the profile of the champion, a burning desire. Following are the three reasons why we all need to cultivate a burning desire to achieve, and how to go about doing it.

1. Without desire there is no work ethic

I now understand why most people don’t have a burning desire. Most people’s goals are logical. For example people say , “Oh, if I could only scrape together enough money to pay my lousy bills.” If you’re only inspired to meet your needs, you’ll never cultivate the desire that will compel you to do great things. Needs are logical, but logical things don’t compel us to reach beyond our comfortable grasp. They won’t have you up early and working hard late into the night. Tyler on the other hand, set goals for complete financial freedom. He never wanted himself or his future family to ever experience what he went through. His goals were emotional, and they were lofty.

With those goals, in 2010, Tyler started his first business. He was going to school, playing competitive soccer like it was his full time job, and still making the time to build one of the early e-commerce drop -shipping businesses. At the end of a long day while most people would make an excuse as to why they were tired, or deserved to relax and watch TV, Tyler’s desire pushed him into action. He developed relationships with Japanese clothing manufacturers and sold both soccer equipment and men’s fashion. Around an already exhausting schedule, Tyler worked his ass off building a  profitable company.

The vast majority of us need an immediate gut check when it comes to our work ethic. Ask yourself, are you matching your work ethic with your level ambition? If not, why not? For most, it’s because they’ve yet to cultivate the level of desire of the champion.

2. Without desire there is no persistence

Achieving lofty goals is hard. Creating something from nothing is difficult. Do you think what you want is going to be easy to accomplish? Far more often than not, our goals will require more energy, more time and more money than expected.

The path you will travel down requires a desire that is nothing other than white hot. It’s about getting to a place in your life where you say this is it! Anything less than that, is tentative. And anytime you’re tentative, there is no power. Tyler on the other hand, surrendered to his purpose.

When eBay learned that he was selling on their platform underage, he was on the brink of being shutdown or forced to pay hefty fees for each transaction. Either way, the business was going to take a big hit. Like with any great achievement, he was confronted with a lot of problems. However, Tyler wasn’t engaged with his obstacles the same way as most. By surrendering to his purpose of providing financial security for his future, he was able to use his mind for him and not against him. Instead of quitting business forever, he looked for other avenues where he could make money. Tyler went on to create three more businesses over the next three years. Each business came with it’s opportunities as well as it’s own unique set of challenges. But because of Tyler’s burning desire, his perseverance lead to many new skills, profitability, and thicker skin.

“The reason success alludes so many people is that the road to our alter of riches is laden with obstacles.”

When you’re on the path to accomplish your goals, do you find yourself starting and stopping frequently? When there’s a roadblock, a challenge, or your goal required more resources than you expected, do you persist despite the obstacles? Or do you fold like a cheap suit? If you fold, check your desire. If it’s hot enough, you will persist past all obstacles on your road to riches.

3. Without desire you cannot prioritize

This week I’ve been asked to attend two different networking events, three coffee meetings, a speaking event and to go out for drinks and a trivia night. If you think about your schedule, I’m sure your time has been elicited just as much if not more! If you don’t have desire, a clear purpose, or a goal that moves you, when people ask for your time, you won’t have the gut to tell people no. Warren Buffet is famous for saying,

“the difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

The ability to prioritize is necessary in order to accomplish your goals. If you’re constantly being pulled in different directions, you’ll never direct enough energy into one thing to accomplish it. In order to build his businesses, Tyler needed a ridiculous work ethic, he needed to persist past his obstacles, but he also needed to say no to a lot of other things. There was so much power in his declaration to provide financial abundance for his future he was able to say no to leisure and yes to his goals. His desire had him in alignment with what was important. His desire kept him focused and in the end, his prioritization paid huge dividends in the success of the business.

What are you saying yes to? Are the activities your investing your time in going to get your closer to accomplishing your greatest desires? Or are you like Tyler and I, where you need to remember to say no to others, in order to say yes to yourself?

Do This. 

Now that we understand why the champion has a burning desire, we can start to cultivate it in our own lives. Here are 2 things to remember about building desire.

  1. Desire is triggered– It often waits and sleeps until you wake it. For Tyler, it was his family’s finances. But for you, maybe it’s a book, or a song, or a seminar, a conversation with a friend, a happening or an event. Who knows which one will turn it all on! What I do know is that you need to welcome every human experience. Sometimes from the most negative experiences comes the greatest awakening.
  2. Desire can be selfish- Never feel ashamed about your motivations as long as it works for you. If you’re not hurting anyone, and your desire fires you up, use it! Just because your neighbour is excited about ending cancer doesn’t mean that your desire to stick it to your brother isn’t a good one. Whatever gets you angry enough, excited enough, passionate enough, or determined enough to start working hard and persist through your obstacles, is a worthwhile desire and you need to take full advantage of how it makes you feel.

A burning desire is the first attitude of the champion for a reason. Without it, you won’t work hard enough. You won’t persist long enough. And you won’t be willing to say no to others when it comes down to focusing on your own goals. If you want the respect, mastery, and character that comes with being a champion, cultivate your desire and never let that fire extinguish. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “you cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”

-J

Out.

The Profile Of A Champion

When you think of Lebron James, one of the greatest athletes of all time, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

What about the global icon, Oprah Winfrey?

What about one of the worlds most influential people, Barrack Obama?

Or, one of the most celebrated individuals to have ever lived, Muhammad Ali?

Profile of a champion Collage

All four of these legends are considered leaders, changemakers, visionaries, and linchpins. When I think of them, the first word that comes to my mind is “champion”. 

And over the past few weeks I’ve been spending a lot of time contemplating what goes into the character of a champion. What do they have that I’m missing? What do they believe that most people don’t believe? How do they think about their goals, their lives, and the world that we tend to look past?

Naturally I started to create a vision of how I could get around these types of people. Thinking if only I was close to them, they would rub off on me and I could choose the qualities I felt I was missing and apply them into my own life. But, I ran into a friend last week that completely shifted my thinking.

Happie, one of our most valued members at Toastmasters, asked me to meet up late at night before he left for his trip across Canada. He needed to leave the supplies bag for our group and I was happy to pick it up for the next meeting. We met, and he started bombarding me with questions! I had just spend the last two weeks at an entrepreneurial training camp (VFC), designed to prepare some of the top graduates across Canada to work in innovative, high growth startups. When I told him that out of over 2000 applicants and an acceptance of only sixty, he wanted to know what we did, who I met, and what I learned.

At this point, I didn’t have that much of an opportunity to reflect on the experience. Thinking fast I told him it was incredible. I learned about sales and marketing, conflict management and negotiation, and how to be an asset to my startup employer. I also recognized that there were about fifty graduates there. Each of them were enthusiastic, and intelligent and hard working and an inspiration to me. It finally hit me, they were all there for a reason, they were there because they’re all champions. 

VFC outdoor group pic
2017 Cohort of Venture for Canada

Clearly, we’re not yet at the status of Lebron James, Oprah Winfrey, Barrack Obama, or Muhammad Ali. But, I know deep down in my gut that this group has the potential to change the world. I’m only now realizing what a privilege it was for me to be with that group. VFC training camp has been unquestionably the most impactful experience I’ve had over the last twelve months. All of which I credit to the quality of character, of the staff and fellows I was learning and growing from. This group is an example for youth, for young adults, and for Canada, of what it takes to one day become world class.

It turns out, I’ve been missing what was in front of my eyes the whole time. We don’t need to seek out Lebron James to have a chance to achieve at that level. All we need to do is get good at identifying what qualities of character make the leaders around us so powerful. In one of my first posts I described a philosophy I embody daily called “be like Frankenstein”. Being like Frankenstein means stealing qualities you admire in others and blending them into your own life. Mimic those characteristics, mimic the profile of a champion, and in due time through years of repetition we’ll become who we want to become and make our small dent on this universe. 

Do This.

Over the next half a dozen posts I’ll be sharing what I’ve identified as the profile of a champion. Before that, I want to challenge you to make your own list. In your opinion, based on what you’ve observed from the leaders and champions in your life, what are the five to ten characteristics that go into your unique profile of a champion? Leave a comment below and we’ll see how ours match up!

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”

-J

Out.

The Most Important Relationship In Your Life

“Integrity is the most valuable and respected quality of leadership. Always keep your word.” – Brian Tracy 

Everyday before I fell asleep my Dad would ask me whether or not I was going to school the next day. Now… I wasn’t nine years old, it was 2011 and I was sixteen. He needed to ask me because at the time I was missing more school than I was attending. At the time, I was virtually always sleepy, I felt heavy and a constant cloud of negativity was weighing me down. My depression not only made me feel weak and that life had no meaning, it destroyed the most important relationship I had in my life.

Every night my Dad would ask me if I was going to school the next day. Every night I said yes. Every morning, however, was a different story. Every morning, I fought and I struggled with my Dad. Nine times out of ten, I won. I got back in bed and slept till twelve or one o’clock. What I didn’t realize at the time, was that those wins, were some of the most devastating losses of my formative years.

Amid all of that struggle, I was picking up the pieces of the most important relationship in my life: the relationship with my word. Meaning, I said, but I didn’t do. I said I was getting out of bed in the morning, but my actions told a different story.

Can you remember a time you didn’t keep your word?  

Maybe it was this morning…

Did you tell yourself you were going to get out of bed at a certain time, but hit snooze and fell back asleep?

Did you tell yourself you were going to eat a healthy breakfast, but instead you stopped for fast food because it was more convenient?

Did you tell yourself you were going to go to the gym today, but felt too tired and said, “I’ll just go tomorrow?”

What about that book you said you were going to write? Or that homework you said you were going to start? Or that book you wanted to read? When you said you were going to be there at 5pm, but you showed up at 5:15pm?

How many times do we commit our word to something and lack the integrity to follow through? For most, including myself, it’s every single day. My example at sixteen years old is only a reflection of an entire cultural and societal lack of integrity. As Stephen Covey points out,

“honesty is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform  to your words.”

Your word creates your world. Here’s what happens when you don’t keep your word.

You Lose Confidence In Yourself

If you consistently break your word, you will consistently feel less and less confident about your ability to achieve.

Every time you set a goal and miss the mark, you lose certainty in yourself.

Every time you make a promise and break it, you lose your personal power.

If you’re like me at sixteen, you currently have this formula twisted. I was speaking to a friend I met recently named Gillian, most would admire her for her accomplishments as a top graduate across the entire Country, yet, she confided in me a lack of confidence in herself. She believed that her lack of confidence was the reason she wasn’t her commitments. A lack of confidence was holding her back from accomplishing her goals and doing what she said she would do. Like Gillian, most people need to reverse that equation. And like Gillian, most people have limitless potential for growth if they just focused on their word first.

I strongly believe that authentic confidence comes as a by product from a powerful relationship with your word. Start there, confidence will follow.

Others Lose Confidence In You

When you break your promise with your friend, family, colleague, or partner you’re telling them that you don’t value them.

A broken promise demonstrates you’re unreliable.

That lack of integrity will consciously or unconsciously cause the people in your life to lose confidence in you.

Most of the promises we make on a daily basis are small commitments. We may promise to meet at a certain time, finish our homework, or pay a bill. But, it’s critical we don’t underestimate the importance of those little commitments. Every time we’re ten minutes late, or miss that deadlines by a few hours, we slowly lose peoples confidence overtime. If we can’t handle the little disciplines in life, like being on time, how will we ever be prepared for the big ones? How will we ever be trusted with that big project that could change our lives? How could we ever be chosen over a peer who is known as being reliable and dependant?

It can take your entire life to build a reputation and one broken promise to destroy it all. 

Do this.

I credit these four steps for the development of an extremely powerful relationship with my word. I challenge you to tackle them today!

  1. Schedule It– If it’s not in my calendar, it’s not happening. Whether you want to carry a written day planner or use Google calendar, start carving time out of your week for the commitments you promised to yourself and others.
  2. Focus On Small Wins- When I was progressing from my depression I didn’t set goals to make a million dollars. I set small goals that would help me get quick wins and build momentum. After getting into the gym  three days a week, I pushed for four. Once I had four days easily, I transitioned to five. By this time I had already built up a stronger relationship with my word and more confidence. That confidence spread into every facet of my life.
  3. Be AccountableOne of my favourite topics to write and teach about is the power of accountability. It will force you into action immediately and help you keep your commitments.
  4. Say No– It’s possible you’re over committing. But, more likely, you’re committing to times, people and projects that aren’t a priority. Pick your direction and only say yes to the opportunities that align with that path.

I’m confident if you follow those four steps your word will once again have power. Schedule some small wins today and feel free to connect about any challenges we can tackle together along the way. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”

-J

Out.