The Most Important Relationship In Your Life

“Integrity is the most valuable and respected quality of leadership. Always keep your word.” – Brian Tracy 

Everyday before I fell asleep my Dad would ask me whether or not I was going to school the next day. Now… I wasn’t nine years old, it was 2011 and I was sixteen. He needed to ask me because at the time I was missing more school than I was attending. At the time, I was virtually always sleepy, I felt heavy and a constant cloud of negativity was weighing me down. My depression not only made me feel weak and that life had no meaning, it destroyed the most important relationship I had in my life.

Every night my Dad would ask me if I was going to school the next day. Every night I said yes. Every morning, however, was a different story. Every morning, I fought and I struggled with my Dad. Nine times out of ten, I won. I got back in bed and slept till twelve or one o’clock. What I didn’t realize at the time, was that those wins, were some of the most devastating losses of my formative years.

Amid all of that struggle, I was picking up the pieces of the most important relationship in my life: the relationship with my word. Meaning, I said, but I didn’t do. I said I was getting out of bed in the morning, but my actions told a different story.

Can you remember a time you didn’t keep your word?  

Maybe it was this morning…

Did you tell yourself you were going to get out of bed at a certain time, but hit snooze and fell back asleep?

Did you tell yourself you were going to eat a healthy breakfast, but instead you stopped for fast food because it was more convenient?

Did you tell yourself you were going to go to the gym today, but felt too tired and said, “I’ll just go tomorrow?”

What about that book you said you were going to write? Or that homework you said you were going to start? Or that book you wanted to read? When you said you were going to be there at 5pm, but you showed up at 5:15pm?

How many times do we commit our word to something and lack the integrity to follow through? For most, including myself, it’s every single day. My example at sixteen years old is only a reflection of an entire cultural and societal lack of integrity. As Stephen Covey points out,

“honesty is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform  to your words.”

Your word creates your world. Here’s what happens when you don’t keep your word.

You Lose Confidence In Yourself

If you consistently break your word, you will consistently feel less and less confident about your ability to achieve.

Every time you set a goal and miss the mark, you lose certainty in yourself.

Every time you make a promise and break it, you lose your personal power.

If you’re like me at sixteen, you currently have this formula twisted. I was speaking to a friend I met recently named Gillian, most would admire her for her accomplishments as a top graduate across the entire Country, yet, she confided in me a lack of confidence in herself. She believed that her lack of confidence was the reason she wasn’t her commitments. A lack of confidence was holding her back from accomplishing her goals and doing what she said she would do. Like Gillian, most people need to reverse that equation. And like Gillian, most people have limitless potential for growth if they just focused on their word first.

I strongly believe that authentic confidence comes as a by product from a powerful relationship with your word. Start there, confidence will follow.

Others Lose Confidence In You

When you break your promise with your friend, family, colleague, or partner you’re telling them that you don’t value them.

A broken promise demonstrates you’re unreliable.

That lack of integrity will consciously or unconsciously cause the people in your life to lose confidence in you.

Most of the promises we make on a daily basis are small commitments. We may promise to meet at a certain time, finish our homework, or pay a bill. But, it’s critical we don’t underestimate the importance of those little commitments. Every time we’re ten minutes late, or miss that deadlines by a few hours, we slowly lose peoples confidence overtime. If we can’t handle the little disciplines in life, like being on time, how will we ever be prepared for the big ones? How will we ever be trusted with that big project that could change our lives? How could we ever be chosen over a peer who is known as being reliable and dependant?

It can take your entire life to build a reputation and one broken promise to destroy it all. 

Do this.

I credit these four steps for the development of an extremely powerful relationship with my word. I challenge you to tackle them today!

  1. Schedule It– If it’s not in my calendar, it’s not happening. Whether you want to carry a written day planner or use Google calendar, start carving time out of your week for the commitments you promised to yourself and others.
  2. Focus On Small Wins- When I was progressing from my depression I didn’t set goals to make a million dollars. I set small goals that would help me get quick wins and build momentum. After getting into the gym  three days a week, I pushed for four. Once I had four days easily, I transitioned to five. By this time I had already built up a stronger relationship with my word and more confidence. That confidence spread into every facet of my life.
  3. Be AccountableOne of my favourite topics to write and teach about is the power of accountability. It will force you into action immediately and help you keep your commitments.
  4. Say No– It’s possible you’re over committing. But, more likely, you’re committing to times, people and projects that aren’t a priority. Pick your direction and only say yes to the opportunities that align with that path.

I’m confident if you follow those four steps your word will once again have power. Schedule some small wins today and feel free to connect about any challenges we can tackle together along the way. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”










Default Mode: AGGRESSIVE

Red faced. Short breathed. Hot-tempered. 

Yosmity short tempered

If those are the images you get when you see the word aggressive, I’d like to challenge your thinking. When I think of being aggressive in my own life I think about taking action. I think of the words attack, offence and industry. Being aggressive is the counter to how most people live their lives. If you want to stand out, build confidence and crush depression or anxiety,  do the opposite of the masses, make your default mode AGGRESSIVE.

Last week I met a group of new friends out in Kingston at Venture for Canada training camp. I knew I made the right first impression when Shannon, a Social Anthropology Major, asked me if I had always been so intense. I knew immediately that I hadn’t. I knew that for years I was defensive and passive and as a result, timid, lacking in self confidence and depressed. Her question reminded me immediately of one of my favourite quotes by Montaigne,

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”

Can you relate?

When I was depressed and defensive, I was always in my head. I always pictured the worst thing that could happen. I never took action on any of my ideas or inspiration. I would postpone doing things until I proved to myself I shouldn’t or couldn’t or until it was too late to even try. I learned first hand that being default defensive is the most disempowering state you can live in. When Shannon asked me that question, “have you always been so intense?” I felt tremendous pride and burning desire to share with you how to be aggressive and get the action habit. 

Aggressive VS Defensive

Successful people are aggressive. They’re on the offence. Virtually all unsuccessful people are defensive. They’re passive. Mr. Aggressive is a doer. He takes action, gets things done, follows through on ideas and plans. Mr Defensive is a “don’ter“. Like me at 16, he waits, contemplates, postpones action until he has 100% of the information he needs.

The difference shows up in little ways. Mr Aggressive plans a vacation. He takes it. Mr. Defensive plans a vacation. But, he postpones it until “next” year. Mr Aggressive decides he needs to take his health seriously. He hires a trainer and starts meal prepping. Mr Defensive decides he needs to take his health seriously. But, this weekend is his Uncle Bobs birthday party. He chooses to wait until Monday and than proceeds to never get started. Mr Aggressive read that he should pay himself 10% of his income before spending anything on expenses. He calls the bank and sets up an automatic withdrawal where 10% of his income goes directly into his investment account. Under the same circumstances, Mr Defensive finds a good reason to put of calling the bank and the withdrawal is never set up.

The difference shows up in big things too. Mr Aggressive wants to go into business for himself. He does. Mr Defensive also wants to go into business for himself, but he discovers just in time a “good” reasons as to why he better not. Mr Aggressive knows he deserves a raise. He asks for it. Mr. Defensive also knows he deserves a raise, but after imagining all the worst case scenarios of brining it up with his boss he does not.

The differences in these examples are profound and they happen everyday. Think about two people you know that embody these two opposite personalities. 

Everyday the Mr or Ms Aggressive in your life is getting the things they want done, done. As a by-product, they’re gaining confidence, a feeling of inner security, self-reliance, and more income. On the flip side, everyday the Ms or Mr Defensive in your life is not getting the things they want done, done. As a by-product of not acting, they’re losing confidence in themselves, destroying their self-reliance, and are living in mediocrity.

As you reflect on those people in your life, take an inventory of your own personality. Are you in a natural state of being aggressive, doing, and taking action? Or, are you normally defensive, passive, and waiting for the perfect moment to act? If you relate more to the latter, write down this quote by Chazz Palminteri,

“The saddest thing in life is wasted talent and the choices you make will shape you forever.”

I’m writing a book right now titled, “Squandering Talent”. It’s a reminder to myself as well as a warning to others on how to prevent wasting your innate potential. Talent itself is not enough! Talent is only valuable when it is cultivated, expressed, and aggressively acted upon. Allow future regret, of wasting your talent by being defensive, drive you.

Someone once said that the saddest words of tongue or pen are these: it might have been or I should have. 

Avoid regret by being aggressive. Being aggressive is as simple as getting the action habit. With all circumstances the same, the only advantage Mr Aggressive has over Mr Defensive is that he takes action now. Now is the magic word of success. Tomorrow, next week, later, sometime, someday, are all more often than not simply synonyms for the failure word, never.

Do This. 

We should make new years resolutions if we’re reading this post on January 1st. But, if we’re reading this on June 22nd, than we should make June 22nd resolutions. Waiting for the calendar to flip for us to start making our life better is ridiculous. Whenever you’re reading this, resolve to do better today.

Resolve to stop thinking about it. Stop dreaming about it. Stop researching every aspect of it. Stop debating all the pros and cons of it. Be aggressive and just start doing it. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.”.




Do The Opposite

If most North Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, the majority obese or overweight and a staggering number of people feel unfulfilled, why are we funneled down the same path?

If the majority of people struggle with what is often seen as the fundamentals to a happy life, financial achievement, health and vitality and our spiritually, isn’t success in all of these areas as simple as doing the opposite of most people?

It’s practical… It’s logical… But, it has to be more complicated than that right? Let’s take a look.

  1. Do you think most people wake up inspired to take action and conquer the day? Or do most people wake up tired and groggy, only to hit snooze and fall back asleep for another 10-30 minutes?
  2. Do you think most people eat 5 or more servings of fruit and vegetables a day? Or do most people consume enormous amounts of sugar, processed foods and unhealthy fats?
  3. Do you think most people do resistance workouts with high intensity 3-4x per week? Or do most people make excuses about lack of time and get into the gym with no consistency?
  4. Do you think most pay themselves 10-20% of their income first before they spend money on expenses? Or do most people struggle so much with their expenses they don’t even have the opportunity to pay themselves at all?
  5. Do you think most people invest at least 10% of their income of their own personal and professional development? Or do most people invest their money into entertainment rather than education?
  6. Do you think most people are working to consistently get out of their comfort zones? Or do most people live their life in a box afraid to venture out and grow?

I’d be more than happy to continue with more examples but I believe you get the point. If you don’t, ponder this thought from Jim Rohn,

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day”.

If most people aren’t willing to practice the simple disciplines that make up a successful life, we should have no problem separating ourselves from the masses. Read over the questions above one more time. This time I want you to place yourself inside those examples. Do you identify with the first question or the second? My guess is that if you’re taking the energy to read this blog, you’re already well on your way to creating the disciplines necessary to live your best life. Kudos to you for reading!

Perhaps you identify with the second questions, and that’s OK. Remember that today is the perfect day to begin changing the direction of your life! I strongly believe that a fulfilled life is much less complicated than we make it. Whatever most people are doing, you should probably do the opposite. It’s 9:07Pm on a Wednesday night as I’m writing this post. Most people are either watching TV or scrolling through social media right now. That’s OK… If you have no goals. But, again, if you’re reading this I know you have a burning desire like me to do something great.

Do this.

Starting today, look at how you can do the opposite of most people. If most people zig, try to zag. Starting today, forget the habits that most people have. Most people are broke, tired and uninspired. We have a real opportunity to discipline ourselves. To build the habits that will support us. To build the habits that will support our familes. And by doing so, by doing the opposite of most people, I’m convinced we’ll live an extraordinary life together.

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.



Be. Do. Have.

One of the biggest frustrations in life is looking for an above average job, with above average pay, without becoming an above average person!” – Jim Rohn

One of the biggest challenges we’ll face on our own unique journey of achievement is focusing on the wrong things. Over time we’ve developed an unhealthy focus on having. Having things, having money, having the end result. Think about it… Yesterday when you scrolled through social media, weren’t you constantly inundated with peoples supposed success stories? Whether it’s real or fake, on Instagram and Facebook we see young people with fancy watches, nice cars, money, beautiful bodies etc… Dramatically more often than not, this success is fake. Whether it’s rented cars or borrowed money, plastic surgery, or filters on pictures, it’s often a facade.

Even when the success is genuine, and those same people worked their asses off to achieve what they wanted, it still proposes a problem. When you and I look up to those examples we get obsessed with the end result, we get obsessed with the having. We have a hard time separating the end results with the two dramatically more important focuses of the success equation, being and doing.

When I look at the real achievers in my life, it’s almost never about having. It’s about the journey. When I look at real achievers their success equation looks like this:

  1. Be or becoming
  2. Do or doing

Their equation focuses on the journey and the process of becoming the type of person that would deserve the type of success they desire.

Gary vee for blog

Gary Vaynerchuk is the perfect example of be, do have. For anyone that follows Gary, you know focuses on the 2 most important parts of that success equation, the being and the doing.

First, he focuses on who he is being: what should his self-talk sound like? What should his personal philosophy be? How should he treat other people?  These are in the realm of who he is. Gary is patient, Gary is a hard worker, Gary always provides more value than he takes, Gary has long term goals, Gary is charismatic, Gary is resilient. Here’s a great question to ask yourself: Who are you becoming? Who do you want to be? What character traits do you want to embody? Start there. Ask yourself those questions, and then come with me to the doing.

Second, by becoming that person, he was then able to venture out into the realm of doing. Imagine Gary wasn’t patient. In 2007 he would have started his Youtube show, and quit after 10 episodes. Nobody watched his videos for over 2 years. But by focusing on who he was, which was patient, he was able to create over 1000 videos and ultimately had incredible success. This is where I needed to check my own thinking… In order for us to do what a successful person would do, we need to become a successful person in our minds first. We need to think like an achiever or, here’s the blunt truth, we’ll never commit, stay persistent, or learn the skills we need to justify the having. Now that you’ve committed to being that person you want to become, here’s some other great questions to ask yourself: what time would that person wake up? What type of goals would that person have? What type of books would that person read? What type of foods would that person eat? What do you need to do day in and day out to justify having what you want?

First, embody the person we want to become. Do the things that person would do. And finally, by taking those actions, you can justify having what you desire.

Is that you today? Because for the majority of my life I had that equation backwards. One of my good friends Happie asked me yesterday if I’d always been such a good listener. His compliment gave me an opportunity to reflect. My answer was NO! My family used to tell me over and over that I sucked at listening and that they felt I never cared what they had to say. I told him that I had to consciously focus on becoming a person who was intensely interested in other people (being). Because of that focus I read all the books on communication, body language and interacting with people I could find (doing). As a result of becoming an above average person, committed to learning new skills, today I’m known as a great listener (my girlfriend may argue with me on this one)….

And for the majority of people looking for an above average paying job, or to grow a profitable business, they also have this equation backwards. If you were like me, or like most people, they’re looking to have the having, without becoming. Without becoming, you’ll never have the skills or character needed to do the doing long enough to deserve what it is you want to have! We’ve got it backwards!

Do This.

Check your thinking. Do you focus on becoming better? Or, do you focus on wanting more?

If you’re honest with yourself, and your answer is: I’m focused on wanting more… Today is a great day to change the direction of that focus. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change he destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.



Plan Your Path

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”- Jim Rohn

Setting an intention is not enough. Making a declaration won’t cut it. Without a clear, detailed plan, screaming out your window that you’re going to be the world’s greatest just makes you crazy. Okay, even with a plan, you’re probably still a bit crazy…

Everyone talks about goals. Every personal development guru preaches goals as the key to success. Because of that I find most people take the idea for granted and do not have clearly defined goals. If I was to ask you to show me your list of goals for tomorrow, this week, month, year, and long term, what would you say? Would you say, “that’s a good question, let me think about it,”or would you say, “hold on, let me get my journal out of my bag and I’ll show you.” For the sake of you and your families future, I hope your answer is the latter.

Planning your path is simple, but it’s not easy. Most people, including myself for the first 18 years of my life, will never write out, take action on and achieve their meticulously planned out list of goals.

“The key to success, is doing what the failures won’t.”

Guess what the failures of our society aren’t doing… They’re not planning their path! I am, and after today, so will you. Let’s walk you through how. There are only 3 parts to successful goal setting: reasons, specifics and a formula for achievement.


5am picture for blog

Do you think I love waking up at 5am? Do you think my accountability partner Ryan loves waking up at 4am? Hell no. We would both love to get 9 hours of sleep every night! Why do we do it? We have enough reasons. Personally, I love the way it makes me feel to have complete control and discipline over myself. I get excited knowing that when most people are sleeping, I can get the slightest leg up day by day. I have enough reasons. For Ryan, he trains his personal training clients at 5, 6 and 7 am. He disciplines himself because he loves what he does. He feels gratitude everyday knowing that he’s able to change people lives and do what he’s passionate about.


Your goals, your level of desire, your vision  for your future can explode to new heights if you only had enough reasons. Here are a few to ponder. Decide today what reasons will help you live the life of your dreams.

  1. Personal reasons– Are you driven by:
    1. Recognition?
    2. Respect?
    3. Mastery?
    4. Legacy?
    5. The way it makes you feel? Those are all good reasons. I have some millionaire friends who keep working 10-12 hours a day, not because they need the money, but because they need the joy and satisfaction of being a constant winner!
  2. Family Reasons– Some people do extremely well for other people. Human beings can greatly effect each other! In fact, we’ll often do things for other people that we would never do for ourselves.
    1. Example 1: Andrew Carnegie. They found a note written in his desk at the end of his life. At the age of 20, Andrew wrote on his goal card, “I’m going to spend the first half of my life accumulating money. I’m going to spend the second half of my life giving it all away.” Andrew got so inspired by that goal of affecting other people, in the first half of his life he accumulated $450,000,000. He spent the second half of his life giving it all away.
    2. Example 2: I’m so driven by the aim of retiring my dad, I’ll do anything for him. I’ll work three jobs. I’ll wake up at 4am every day. Anything. A good question to ask yourself is who will you work harder for than you would for yourself?
  3. Nitty Gritty Reasons- 
    1. Jim Rohn tells an incredible story about one of his friends named Bobby. He writes that as an unhappy school teacher Bobby decided he would get into sales. Bobby’s brother thought he was crazy! He had a great job, it paid well and it was secure. His brother, made fun of him, put him down and told his whole family he would go broke. Bobby got so mad at the way his brother treated him, he decided to get rich. Is it possible to get that mad? Hell yes! It turns out wealth is not a matter of intelligence, it’s a matter of inspiration! Bobby quickly became one of Jim’s millionaire friends and to this day is a great example of nitty gritty reasons for achievement.

What pisses you off? Who pisses you off? Ask yourself. Get a long enough reasons so after today you never lack for inspiration.Which reasons will get you bombed out of sight to get up early, stay up late and hit it all day? Enough reasons will forever alter your life.

Specifics For Goal Setting

goals setting picture

There are two parts to goal setting, long range and short range goals.

  1. Long range goals– These are your dreams! These are your goals for the next 3-5-10-20-40 years. Actually the rest of your life.There’s a bible phrase that says that without visions people parish! You’ve got to have something to go after that inspires the heart and the soul. Ask yourself:
    1. Where do you want to go?
    2. What do you want to do?
    3. What do you want to be?
    4. What do you want to see?
  2. Short range goals– These are your goals for tomorrow,  this week, this month, this year. I focus intensely on short range goals with my accountability partnership. First, the world changes and we change… Therefore long range goals may also change over time. However, short range goals are confidence boosters. If you set up something short range, go for it, work hard,  accomplish it, that starts building your confidence for going for your dreams!

Both long and short range goals have three categories.

  1. Economic goals– These are your goals for money, income, business, or profits. Make sure you have them well planned! Economics plays a major role one everyone’s life. That’s why they should be meticulously planned for this week, this month, this year, and long range. What if I asked you tomorrow if I could see your meticulously well planned list of economic goals? Remember, it’s worth repeating that success is doing what the failures won’t do. Make sure you’ve got your economics well planned. It will put you in the top 5 percent.
  2.  Things- This is a fun one. These are the things you want! Little things as well as major things. Put everything on your list. It doesn’t matter how small! Load your list with everything… Cars, homes, watches, a gym membership, books, a lamp… everything! Part of the fun of having a list is checking it off! 
  3.  Personal development goals- These are your goals to be stronger, be a speaker, be a leader, learn a language, all kinds of skills.  You attract what you want by the person you become. Skills are what attracts. Make never ending improvement a high priority in your life and get started on your list of personal development goals.

**** NOTE

When you check off something major, celebrate! Have a party when you reach something you’ve worked a while for. We grow from two experiences, the pain of losing or the joy of winning. We need both of them. Amplify them as much as you can. Which also means, make losing painful! If you didn’t get it, because you fooled around or procrastinated, be hard on yourself! But, if you worked hard and you did get it, live it up!

Formula For Goal Achievement


  1.  Work on your goals- Setting goals is hard work. There’s no point in kidding you. That’s why a lot of people just let goal setting slide. They hear it’s key, they know it’s important, but as I mentioned, goal setting is simple but not easy. Part of the work involved is called planning your path. I know most people won’t. But, don’t let that be you.
  2. Write your goals down- Put your goals in your journal. It allows your accountability partner to help keep you on track. It shows you’re serious about doing better. And to do better, you need to get serious. Everyone hopes things will get better. If you’re not serious, 5 years from now you’ll wake up wearing what you don’t want to wear, driving what you don’t want to drive and being what you don’t want to be. Now is the time to get serious about your goals!
  3. Take massive action on your plan- Go all in. Push yourself. When roadblocks come up and you don’t feel like it’s worth it, remember all the reasons you started. Keep taking action. Move past your threshold of comfort and you will see massive growth and achievement. Make adjustments when necessary, but make sure you tackle your goals aggressively.

Congratulations! This has simultaneously been my longest and most important post. Having a clear direction has not only helped me over come depression, but it’s helped me  grow my first 6 figure ARR gross sales business, become an award winning public speaker and a 2017 Fellow with Venture For Canada.

Do this:

If you’re serious about planning your path, leave a comment! I will personally reach out and work with you to hold you accountable for your goals. I’m going to retire my dad. What do you want?

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.




Pick Your Path

“The only thing worse than setting the wrong direction is having no direction” – Jim Rohn

This is one of those lessons I learned the hard way. For 2 years, being directionless taught me not only will you not be an achiever if you have no goals, you will quickly become depressed. Before 16 years old, I never knew why we needed goals and why the lack thereof is so anxiety inducing.

If you’re reading this, I know you can relate. A lack of clarity and direction produces uncertainty. Go back to a time in your life when you were down. There’s a high probability you were confused about your direction. You questioned yourself, why you’re here and what you’re truly passionate about.

My goal is to help you avoid my path. For 2 years I had no direction and it was a big mistake. What I was missing is that as a human being, I am obviously, as Doctor Maxwell Malts said, like a bicycle.

If a bicycle isn’t headed towards something, or moving forward, it loses it’s equilibrium and it will fall over. Well you and I are designed exactly like that emotionally. When I was 16, I wasn’t moving towards anything. No direction. No purpose. No goals. What I’ve come to realize is that at any point in my life where I’ve lacked this clarity, of knowing that I was going towards something, my life fore, our life force, and our energies are kind of just splintered and splattered. And we cannot produce results like that. Fuck, we can’t be happy like that.

So why set goals? Why have a clear direction? Because it is consistent with our nature. Remember the bicycle? Because it garners and focuses our energies to get things done.

You know what happens when you set goals and focus on something that you want? When we’re focused, in your sleep, we begin to create blue prints in our subconscious to achieve what we want next!

“Our subconscious is either our best friend or our greatest enemy”

We’ve all experienced this. I remember being back in High School and having a test the next day. I studied all night for math and often wouldn’t be able to solve a few problems. When I went to bed I didn’t have the answer. But, when I woke up in the morning I knew exactly which direction to take it. I had the answer.  The subconscious is amazing, once it knows what we want ,our mind must align with what we want and help us get it.

On the other hand, there’s a downside to that. The downside is when I was 16 with no direction, my mind just sat idly,  focusing on anything that came into my experience because it didn’t know what I wanted! My subconscious said,

“well it looks like Jonathan doesn’t want anything, so let’s give him a whole bunch of things he may not want. Because it’s clear he doesn’t want anything!”

The next thing that shows up? You guessed it. It’s uncertainty, anxiety, and confusion. Why did those emotions show up? Why do they show up for you? Their warning signs. We’re out of sync! I wish I could give my 15 year old self this talk. Jonathan, you’re depressed and out of sync because you’re like a bicycle. You need to keep moving. You need to set some goals in alignment with improving your self-image.

But, instead, I’m taking that advice now and I’m also giving it to you.

Do this:

Set a direction. Set a few goals and take action towards it’s accomplishment. Write them down. Share them with your accountability partner and work towards those aims as a team. Finally, stay tuned for my next post as I dive deeper into setting intelligent goals.

Remember, don’t get hung up on carving out the perfect path. Firstly, there is more than one path to the same outcome. Don’t let that be your excuse to not get started. And more importantly, the only thing worse than the wrong direction, is no direction. 

Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.



The Tipping Point

Did you know…

92% of the 17 million people that try to quit smoking each year fail.

95% of people who lose weight fail to keep it off long term.

88% of people who set New Year’s resolutions fail at their attempt.

Why is the world full of well intentioned people trying to make positive change, yet so many fail? Why do you hold yourself back from positive change? 

holding-yourself-back- blog

It’s an important question that I’ve been asking myself in 2017 more than ever. For example, I’ve been telling myself I would start blogging about my mental health journey for two years.  Yet, I only started a few months ago. I’ve been telling myself for the last year that I would also make videos. I know I’m a strong communicator, I know I have talent and I also know that if I I could get myself to blog, I can get myself to make videos!

Whether you want to lose weight, quit smoking, ask your cute neighbour on a date, or if you’re just like me and you want to make videos, we all need to find out what I like to call our tipping point.

Before that however, we need to understand that a fundamental level, there are two forces that motivate us to do what we do: the desire to avoid pain or the desire to gain pleasure. Taking action and making a change isn’t a matter of ability, it’s a matter of motivation. When change is a should, most people won’t make the change. If change is a must, it’s another story! The tipping point makes taking action a must.

The tipping point is a strategy I’ve used successfully in the past. I’ve used it to overcome some of my biggest roadblocks in creating change. When I wanted to start waking up at 5am, I  used the tipping point. When I wanted to speak in public for the first time, I used the tipping point. And, just like when I finally decided to write my first blog, I’m going to use the tipping point to take action on my first videos.

“Simply put, our tipping point can be described as the moment in time when we associated more pain to inaction than we do to action. “

I want you to imagine an unbalanced scale. scale - blogIf you’re like most people (often including me), your scale is either completely level or tipped in the direction of your fears and excuses. Meaning we can’t take action! If our desire to make a positive change is overpowered by your fears of taking action, we will not change. In this visual, we’ve found the tipping point, only in the wrong direction. In other words,

“Until our perceived fear of taking action is outweighed by the pain of not taking action, we won’t change.”

Have you noticed the whole world is full of people who’s fears are bigger than their desire to take action? Have you noticed that all of the movers, shakers, and people we look up to in this world decided that the pleasure of  creating a legacy and making an impact far out weighted all of their concerns and excuses?

In order to access the tipping point, we need to associate massive PAIN to not changing NOW, and massive PLEASURE to changing immediate. The motivation is based on both pain AND pleasure. Pain is short-term motivation, but you need the pleasure for long term change.

Do This (If you’re not going to participate, close the window now because you’re wasting your time).

*I’ve used the following questions about making videos to help unlock my tipping point. Take the time to ask yourself the same for whatever you want to change!

Pain-associating questions:

  1. What will not changing cost cost me?
  2. What has not changing cost me in the past?
  3. What is not changing costing the people you love?
  4. What is it costing you in (money, work, family etc)?

Questions that identify inconsistency

  1. How does not changing keep you from being close with your friends and family?
  2. Should people follow a leader that doesn’t have the discipline to make the change you’re trying to make?
  3. How can you tell yourself that it’s okay to not make the change even though you think about it everyday?

Pleasure-associating questions:

  1. If you change this now, how will your life be?
  2. What will you gain?
  3. What will it mean for the people you love?
  4. What will it give you?

Final thoughts… The tipping point will only happen when you’re emotionally associated to the massive, immediate pain of not changing, and the massive immediate pleasure of changing now. If you find the questions helpful in making that change, share them with someone you think it can help!

Till next time, stay on the offense. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change the destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction”.