One of the biggest frustrations in life is looking for an above average job, with above average pay, without becoming an above average person!” – Jim Rohn
One of the biggest challenges we’ll face on our own unique journey of achievement is focusing on the wrong things. Over time we’ve developed an unhealthy focus on having. Having things, having money, having the end result. Think about it… Yesterday when you scrolled through social media, weren’t you constantly inundated with peoples supposed success stories? Whether it’s real or fake, on Instagram and Facebook we see young people with fancy watches, nice cars, money, beautiful bodies etc… Dramatically more often than not, this success is fake. Whether it’s rented cars or borrowed money, plastic surgery, or filters on pictures, it’s often a facade.
Even when the success is genuine, and those same people worked their asses off to achieve what they wanted, it still proposes a problem. When you and I look up to those examples we get obsessed with the end result, we get obsessed with the having. We have a hard time separating the end results with the two dramatically more important focuses of the success equation, being and doing.
When I look at the real achievers in my life, it’s almost never about having. It’s about the journey. When I look at real achievers their success equation looks like this:
- Be or becoming
- Do or doing
Their equation focuses on the journey and the process of becoming the type of person that would deserve the type of success they desire.
Gary Vaynerchuk is the perfect example of be, do have. For anyone that follows Gary, you know focuses on the 2 most important parts of that success equation, the being and the doing.
First, he focuses on who he is being: what should his self-talk sound like? What should his personal philosophy be? How should he treat other people? These are in the realm of who he is. Gary is patient, Gary is a hard worker, Gary always provides more value than he takes, Gary has long term goals, Gary is charismatic, Gary is resilient. Here’s a great question to ask yourself: Who are you becoming? Who do you want to be? What character traits do you want to embody? Start there. Ask yourself those questions, and then come with me to the doing.
Second, by becoming that person, he was then able to venture out into the realm of doing. Imagine Gary wasn’t patient. In 2007 he would have started his Youtube show, and quit after 10 episodes. Nobody watched his videos for over 2 years. But by focusing on who he was, which was patient, he was able to create over 1000 videos and ultimately had incredible success. This is where I needed to check my own thinking… In order for us to do what a successful person would do, we need to become a successful person in our minds first. We need to think like an achiever or, here’s the blunt truth, we’ll never commit, stay persistent, or learn the skills we need to justify the having. Now that you’ve committed to being that person you want to become, here’s some other great questions to ask yourself: what time would that person wake up? What type of goals would that person have? What type of books would that person read? What type of foods would that person eat? What do you need to do day in and day out to justify having what you want?
First, embody the person we want to become. Do the things that person would do. And finally, by taking those actions, you can justify having what you desire.
Is that you today? Because for the majority of my life I had that equation backwards. One of my good friends Happie asked me yesterday if I’d always been such a good listener. His compliment gave me an opportunity to reflect. My answer was NO! My family used to tell me over and over that I sucked at listening and that they felt I never cared what they had to say. I told him that I had to consciously focus on becoming a person who was intensely interested in other people (being). Because of that focus I read all the books on communication, body language and interacting with people I could find (doing). As a result of becoming an above average person, committed to learning new skills, today I’m known as a great listener (my girlfriend may argue with me on this one)….
And for the majority of people looking for an above average paying job, or to grow a profitable business, they also have this equation backwards. If you were like me, or like most people, they’re looking to have the having, without becoming. Without becoming, you’ll never have the skills or character needed to do the doing long enough to deserve what it is you want to have! We’ve got it backwards!
Check your thinking. Do you focus on becoming better? Or, do you focus on wanting more?
If you’re honest with yourself, and your answer is: I’m focused on wanting more… Today is a great day to change the direction of that focus.
Till next time, stay on the offensive. Aggressively pursue a better version of yourself. And remember what Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change he destination of your life overnight, but you can change your direction.